Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer begins with thanksgiving and that is a beautiful place to stand. Giving thanks for the Lord Jesus in your life and the lives of your children and family, and praying for the peace of Jerusalem, honors God and opens your heart to hear Him more clearly. I want to walk with you through the heavier parts of what you shared with gentleness and with truth from Scripture.
Scripture teaches that God is love and that love is born of God. The clearest proof of His love is not found in our circumstances or in whether another person loves us in return, but in the cross where God so loved that He gave His Son for us. When doubts come and the enemy whispers that God does not love you because of the pain and confusion you are in, look to Jesus and what He has done there. That love remains steady when feelings and relationships shift.
The Bible also helps us understand what love truly is. There is a physical attraction that seeks to get something for itself, and there is a friendship love that loves because it is loved in return. Both are shallow and rise and fall with feelings. The love God calls us to is different. It is a giving love, a self sacrificing love that seeks the good of the other. It suffers long and is kind, it does not envy, it does not seek its own way, it is not easily provoked, it bears all things and hopes all things. That kind of love is the fruit of the Spirit growing in us as we abide in Christ, and it cannot be bought, forced, or manipulated into another person.
That is why some of the requests in your prayer need to be reshaped by God's Word. Praying that harm would come upon another person who has hurt you, or praying that God would force a man to love you, or praying that other women would be driven away so you can hold onto him, is not the way of agape love. Jesus said to love those who have hurt you, to do good to those who despitefully use you, and to pray for those who have caused pain, leaving justice to God. Love does not try to control another person or take back power through spiritual energies. Renewal does not come from reclaiming energies you gave away out of fear, but from abiding in Christ, confessing fear to Him, and receiving His strength and peace day by day.
Your desire to be loved and to have a secure home for you and your children is understandable, and God sees that longing. Yet true love grows within commitment and it is not created by constant texting, by trying to make someone stay, or by holding on to a marriage only for what was built together in a house or yard. Marriage in Scripture is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. To be unequally yoked with someone who does not share faith in Christ, or to pursue a relationship outside that covenant, will not lead to the wholeness you desire, even when feelings are strong. Love at first sight is often only attraction. Real love develops over time as two people walk together with God in faithfulness.
You mentioned both wanting to be divorced and not wanting to be divorced, and wanting to claim what is yours. In such a painful and practical matter, please seek wise, godly counsel from a pastor and from trustworthy help in your community who can walk with you through decisions about marriage, separation, and property with honesty and integrity. Ask God not for what will simply satisfy a wish, but for what is right and merciful and in line with His Word. Pray for wisdom to act in a way that is kind, truthful, and not self seeking.
God does want to fill your heart and mind with good thoughts, but that fullness comes as you return to your first love for Jesus Himself. Spend time simply with Him, letting Him show you where love is growing and where it is lacking by looking honestly at the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and at the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. Ask Him to teach you to love others as He has loved you. That is the new commandment Jesus gave, that we love one another as He loved us, and by this the world knows we belong to Him. You show your love for Him by keeping His commandments and by loving others with His giving love.
So let me pray for you in that direction. Father, thank You for this dear one and for her children and family. Thank You for Your love shown at the cross. I ask that You surround her and her children with Your protection and peace, and that You heal wounds caused by harsh words and broken promises. Remove what is not of love from this home, and fill her heart with Your love that is patient and kind and does not seek its own. Forgive as You have forgiven, and help her to forgive and to release vengeance to You. Give her wisdom for every decision about marriage and home, and lead her to faithful counsel. Teach her to abide in Christ and to find her security and identity in You alone, and to trust You with the future of every relationship, desiring Your will above all. Form Your love in her more and more, that she may walk in it and share it with others. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Scripture teaches that God is love and that love is born of God. The clearest proof of His love is not found in our circumstances or in whether another person loves us in return, but in the cross where God so loved that He gave His Son for us. When doubts come and the enemy whispers that God does not love you because of the pain and confusion you are in, look to Jesus and what He has done there. That love remains steady when feelings and relationships shift.
The Bible also helps us understand what love truly is. There is a physical attraction that seeks to get something for itself, and there is a friendship love that loves because it is loved in return. Both are shallow and rise and fall with feelings. The love God calls us to is different. It is a giving love, a self sacrificing love that seeks the good of the other. It suffers long and is kind, it does not envy, it does not seek its own way, it is not easily provoked, it bears all things and hopes all things. That kind of love is the fruit of the Spirit growing in us as we abide in Christ, and it cannot be bought, forced, or manipulated into another person.
That is why some of the requests in your prayer need to be reshaped by God's Word. Praying that harm would come upon another person who has hurt you, or praying that God would force a man to love you, or praying that other women would be driven away so you can hold onto him, is not the way of agape love. Jesus said to love those who have hurt you, to do good to those who despitefully use you, and to pray for those who have caused pain, leaving justice to God. Love does not try to control another person or take back power through spiritual energies. Renewal does not come from reclaiming energies you gave away out of fear, but from abiding in Christ, confessing fear to Him, and receiving His strength and peace day by day.
Your desire to be loved and to have a secure home for you and your children is understandable, and God sees that longing. Yet true love grows within commitment and it is not created by constant texting, by trying to make someone stay, or by holding on to a marriage only for what was built together in a house or yard. Marriage in Scripture is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. To be unequally yoked with someone who does not share faith in Christ, or to pursue a relationship outside that covenant, will not lead to the wholeness you desire, even when feelings are strong. Love at first sight is often only attraction. Real love develops over time as two people walk together with God in faithfulness.
You mentioned both wanting to be divorced and not wanting to be divorced, and wanting to claim what is yours. In such a painful and practical matter, please seek wise, godly counsel from a pastor and from trustworthy help in your community who can walk with you through decisions about marriage, separation, and property with honesty and integrity. Ask God not for what will simply satisfy a wish, but for what is right and merciful and in line with His Word. Pray for wisdom to act in a way that is kind, truthful, and not self seeking.
God does want to fill your heart and mind with good thoughts, but that fullness comes as you return to your first love for Jesus Himself. Spend time simply with Him, letting Him show you where love is growing and where it is lacking by looking honestly at the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and at the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. Ask Him to teach you to love others as He has loved you. That is the new commandment Jesus gave, that we love one another as He loved us, and by this the world knows we belong to Him. You show your love for Him by keeping His commandments and by loving others with His giving love.
So let me pray for you in that direction. Father, thank You for this dear one and for her children and family. Thank You for Your love shown at the cross. I ask that You surround her and her children with Your protection and peace, and that You heal wounds caused by harsh words and broken promises. Remove what is not of love from this home, and fill her heart with Your love that is patient and kind and does not seek its own. Forgive as You have forgiven, and help her to forgive and to release vengeance to You. Give her wisdom for every decision about marriage and home, and lead her to faithful counsel. Teach her to abide in Christ and to find her security and identity in You alone, and to trust You with the future of every relationship, desiring Your will above all. Form Your love in her more and more, that she may walk in it and share it with others. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
