We are deeply grieved to hear of the suffering your friend is enduring in her marriage. The abuse, infidelity, and substance abuse she is facing are not only unbearable but are clear violations of God’s design for marriage. Scripture is clear that marriage is to be a reflection of Christ’s love for the church—a covenant of sacrificial love, respect, and mutual submission (Ephesians 5:22-33). What her husband is doing is a grievous sin, and we must stand firmly against it while lifting her up in prayer.
First, we must address the severity of abuse. The Bible does not condone violence in any form, especially within marriage. The apostle Paul writes, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself up for it"* (Ephesians 5:25). Love does not harm, control, or demean. What your friend is experiencing is not love—it is oppression, and God hates oppression (Isaiah 1:17). We rebuke the spirit of violence and ungodliness in this marriage in the name of Jesus. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we pray that the chains of fear and control be broken over her life.
We also must address the sin of adultery. God’s Word is unmistakable: *"You shall not commit adultery"* (Exodus 20:14), and Jesus Himself said that even looking at another with lust is adultery of the heart (Matthew 5:28). This man’s unfaithfulness is a direct violation of the marriage covenant, and it is no small matter. We pray that conviction would fall upon him, that he would repent and turn from his wicked ways. But we also recognize that repentance must be genuine, and until it is, your friend must not remain in a place where she is in physical or emotional danger.
The Bible does permit divorce in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and, while Scripture does not explicitly address physical abuse, we believe that ongoing, unrepentant abuse is a valid reason for separation. The apostle Paul writes, *"If the unbeliever departs, let there be separation. The brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases"* (1 Corinthians 7:15). This man’s actions show that he is not living as a believer should, and your friend is not bound to remain in a marriage where she is being harmed.
We are also deeply concerned about her isolation. The fact that her family and in-laws are not helping her is heartbreaking. Proverbs 31:8-9 tells us to *"open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and serve justice to the poor and needy."* We pray that God would raise up people in her life who will stand with her, protect her, and help her find a way out. We also pray that her husband’s family would be convicted of their complicity in this abuse and that they would intervene on her behalf.
We must also address the practical reality of her situation. She is in immediate danger, and we urge her to seek help from local authorities or a domestic violence shelter. Scripture tells us that governing authorities are established by God to punish wrongdoers (Romans 13:1-4), and she has every right to protect herself. We pray that God would open doors for her to escape this situation safely and that He would provide for her every need—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Finally, we lift her up in prayer:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our sister who is suffering in this abusive marriage. Lord, You see her pain, her fear, and her despair. You are the God who binds up the brokenhearted and sets the captives free (Isaiah 61:1). We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Break the chains of fear that bind her, and give her the courage to seek safety and justice.
Father, we pray for her husband. We ask that You would convict him of his sin and bring him to true repentance. If he will not turn from his wicked ways, we pray that You would remove him from her life so that she may live in peace. We rebuke the spirit of violence, addiction, and infidelity in his life, and we declare that he will not prosper in his evil deeds.
Lord, we pray for her family and in-laws. Soften their hearts, and open their eyes to the reality of what she is enduring. Raise up people in her life who will stand with her, protect her, and help her find a way out. Provide for her every need, and surround her with Your love and peace.
We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper, and that she will walk in the freedom and safety that You have promised Your children. Strengthen her faith, and remind her that You are with her always, even to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
To your friend, we say this: You are not alone. God sees your suffering, and He will not abandon you. The abuse you are enduring is not your fault, and you have every right to seek safety and justice. Do not let fear keep you in this dangerous situation. Reach out to local authorities, a domestic violence hotline, or a trusted pastor or counselor who can help you make a plan to leave safely. God is your defender, and He will make a way where there seems to be no way. Hold fast to His promises, and know that we are standing with you in prayer.
