We hear the deep pain and brokenness in your heart, and we grieve with you over the injustice and humiliation youāve enduredāespecially in the very place where you should have found refuge, the house of God. What happened to you was wrong, and your feelings of hurt, betrayal, and confusion are valid before the Lord. You are not wrong for struggling with this, nor are you sinning by wrestling with the desire to step away from a place where your wounds have been ignored. The Lord sees your tears, and He is not indifferent to your suffering. Let us address this together in truth and prayer, for the Lord is a God of justice, and He does not overlook the cries of His children.
First, we must acknowledge that what was done to you was not just a personal offenseāit was a violation of the unity and holiness of the body of Christ. The church is called to be a place of truth, reconciliation, and protection for the vulnerable, not a place where lies are tolerated and the wounded are silenced. The Scripture is clear: *"Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also arenāt tempted. Bear one anotherās burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"* (Galatians 6:1-2, WEB). The pastorās failure to address this publiclyāor at the very least, privately with you and the woman involvedāhas compounded the harm. His favor toward her without requiring repentance or restitution is not biblical leadership. *"Donāt be unevenly yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). While we do not know her heart, the lack of correction and the pastorās actions send a dangerous message that sin can be overlooked for the sake of appearances or personal agendas. This is not the way of Christ.
You have done well to forgive, for forgiveness is not optional for the believerāit is a command (Colossians 3:13). But forgiveness does not mean pretending the offense never happened, nor does it mean you must subject yourself to repeated harm. Forgiveness releases the offender to Godās justice, but it does not require you to trust someone who has not repented or to remain in an environment where your dignity is not protected. *"If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men"* (Romans 12:18, WEB). Yet peace cannot be one-sided. Reconciliation requires repentance, and where there is no repentance, there can be no true restoration.
We also must address the spiritual abuse youāve describedāthe expectation that as a "prayer warrior," you should suppress your pain and endure mistreatment without voice. This is a twisted distortion of biblical meekness. Jesus Himself overturned tables in the temple when it was defiled (Matthew 21:12-13), and He spoke boldly against hypocrisy. Meekness is not weakness; it is power under control, and sometimes that power must be used to speak truth. *"Have I then become your enemy by telling you the truth?"* (Galatians 4:16, WEB). You are not wrong for feeling broken. The Lord does not call you to be a doormat for othersā sin.
As for the pastor baptizing her without addressing the sin between you, this is a grave error. Baptism is a public declaration of repentance and faith, but if there has been no repentance toward you, then the pastor is acting prematurely and dishonoring the ordinance. *"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother or sister; then come and offer your gift"* (Matthew 5:23-24, WEB). The pastor has failed in his duty to uphold righteousness, and this should grieve us deeply.
Now, let us pray for you, beloved sister in Christ:
Heavenly Father, we lift up Your daughter before You, who is broken and wounded by the very hands that should have protected her. Lord, You see the humiliation she has endured, the lies spoken against her, and the silence of those who should have defended Your truth. You are the God who hears the cries of the afflicted, and You do not turn a deaf ear to her pain. We ask You to bind up her wounds, to restore her dignity, and to give her clarity in this season of confusion.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of shame that has tried to silence her. You have not called her to be a victim, but a victor in Christ Jesus. Give her the courage to speak truth in love, and the wisdom to know how to proceed. If it is Your will for her to remain in this church, then soften the hearts of the leadership to repent and make things right. But if this place has become a snare to her soul, then open a door to a body of believers where she will be cherished, protected, and built up in faith.
Lord, we pray for the woman who has wronged her. If she is truly seeking You, then convict her heart to repent fullyānot just to the pastor, but to Your daughter. Let there be no false peace, no pretense of righteousness without true reconciliation. And for the pastor, we ask for conviction if he has acted out of favoritism or fear rather than obedience to Your Word. Remind him that You hold shepherds to a higher account (James 3:1), and that he will answer to You for how he has tended Your flock.
Father, we ask for supernatural peace to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Remove the heaviness, the confusion, and the sense of isolation. Surround her with Your presence and remind her that she is not aloneāYou are her Defender, her Shield, and her very present Help in trouble.
Finally, Lord, we pray that You would restore her joy in worship. Do not let the enemy steal her love for Your church, even if this local body has failed her. Lead her to a place where she can worship You in spirit and in truth, without fear of further harm.
We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Advocate and High Priest, who intercedes for us at Your right hand. May Your will be done, and may Your daughter walk in the freedom and victory You have purchased for her on the cross. Amen.
Beloved, we urge you to seek the Lordās face about whether He is calling you to address this with the pastor one final time, with a witness if necessary (Matthew 18:16). But do not do so until you have peace from the Holy Spirit. If the Lord leads you away from this church, do not carry guiltāHe is your Shepherd, and He will lead you to green pastures. You are not abandoning the faith by leaving a place that has not acted justly. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18, WEB).
Lastly, we want to remind you of the hope you have in Christ. This world is full of broken people and broken systems, but Jesus is returning for a bride without spot or wrinkle (Ephesians 5:27). One day, every wrong will be made right. Until then, cling to Him, for He is faithful. *"He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 1:6, WEB). You are not defined by this paināyou are defined by His love. Stand firm in that truth.
still until this day The Pastor Never Addressed it I am a member this was her first time visiting SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN MEAN TO ME. anybody She See Shows Me Love She try to ruin it. I am a prayer intercessor I still feel so Humiliated I have prayed and prayed with no relief. When She made the Out burst in Church The pastor did not address it because he feels God has chose Him to save Her. What about Me what about My feelings of Humiliation. And they still expect Me to Come to a church I have been wounded at with No Apologies from her and no peace for Me
