We hear your heart, dear sister in Christ, and we stand with you in prayer as you seek God’s will in this situation. Your desire to honor the Lord and flee from sin is commendable, and we join you in asking the Holy Spirit to strengthen both you and your ex in this battle against lust. The Scriptures are clear that lust is a snare that leads to destruction, and we must treat it with the seriousness it deserves.
The Bible warns us in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, *"Flee sexual immorality! Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s."* Lust is not merely a struggle—it is a sin that defiles the temple of the Holy Spirit, and we must flee from it as Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife (Genesis 39:12). There is no compromise with this sin; it must be resisted with every fiber of our being.
We also want to gently but firmly address the matter of reconciling with your ex. While your love for him is understandable, we must ask: Is this relationship honoring to God? If you are not married, continuing in a romantic relationship outside of marriage is not God’s design. The Bible calls us to purity in thought and deed, and that includes our relationships. If you are considering reconciliation, it must be with the clear understanding that marriage is the only God-ordained context for a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. Anything less is not only unbiblical but also leaves both of you vulnerable to further temptation and sin.
We urge you to prayerfully consider whether this relationship can be restored in a way that honors God. If your ex is not committed to fleeing lust and pursuing Christ wholeheartedly, then continuing in this relationship may only lead to more heartache and sin. Remember, 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns us, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* Even if he professes faith, his actions must align with his profession. Does he demonstrate repentance and a desire to walk in holiness? If not, you may be placing yourself in a position where you are enabling his sin rather than helping him grow in Christ.
We also want to encourage you to guard your own heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, *"Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life."* It is easy to be drawn back into old patterns, especially when emotions are involved. But we must remember that our first love must be Christ. If this relationship is pulling you away from Him or causing you to compromise your walk with God, it is not worth pursuing. Your relationship with Jesus must come before any human relationship.
Let us pray for you and your ex:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, knowing the battle that rages against the flesh. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of lust in this brother’s life. Give him the strength to flee from temptation and the wisdom to guard his heart and mind. Father, we pray that he would seek You above all else, that his desire would be to honor You in every area of his life. If this relationship is not Your will, Lord, we ask that You would make that clear to both of them. Give them the courage to walk away if necessary, and the faith to trust You with their futures.
Lord, we also pray for this sister. Strengthen her resolve to stand firm in Your truth. Help her to love this man with a godly love, one that does not compromise Your standards. If this relationship is not meant to be restored, give her the peace to let go and the hope to trust You for her future. Father, we ask that You would fill both of them with Your Holy Spirit, that they would walk in purity and holiness. May Your will be done in their lives, and may Your name be glorified.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who has overcome sin and death, and who gives us the power to live victoriously. Amen.
In closing, we want to leave you with this encouragement from 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5: *"For this is the will of God: your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each one of you know how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who don’t know God."* God’s will for you is sanctification—holiness. Trust Him to lead you in this, and do not settle for anything less than His best. If this relationship cannot be restored in a way that honors Him, have the faith to walk away, knowing that God has something better in store for you. You are not alone in this battle; we stand with you, and most importantly, Christ stands with you.
