Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your honest and heartfelt request has been heard, and I want to answer you with both compassion for your pain and faithfulness to what God has taught us in Scripture.
I hear how deeply you love this woman and how much you grieve the distance and division that has come between you. It is good that you are turning to Jesus, confessing sin, seeking forgiveness, and wanting to be forgiven and to forgive. Through Jesus Christ alone we have forgiveness and peace with God, and when we repent with a sincere heart He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse us.
I also want to speak to you gently and clearly about God's design for love and marriage, because true prayer seeks not only what we desire but what God wills. Scripture teaches that marriage is honorable and pure, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman ordained by God. Holiness in this area means chaste and orderly living. Marriage itself preserves holiness by keeping sexual union and living together within the covenant where God placed them. Living together outside of marriage, even with sincere love and long commitment, does not reflect that holiness and does not keep the purity that faith calls us to. This is not to condemn you, but to call you as a born again believer to walk in the holiness that comes from faith.
That is why I cannot pray that God would bless or restore a relationship as living together outside of marriage. What I can and will pray is that God would lead both of you into repentance, healing, and holiness, and that His perfect will would be done in each of your lives.
I will pray that the Lord covers you both with the blood of Jesus, guards you from the enemy, from all evil influence, and from bitterness, anger, and confusion, and that He brings peace where there has been turmoil and nightmares. I will pray that He gives you both humble and forgiving hearts, that He heals what has been hurt by sin and by words spoken in anger, and that He fills you with love and joy that comes from walking closely with Him.
I will pray that if it is the Lord's will for you to be married, He would lead you toward that covenant in the right way, with chastity, honor, and reverence, not through continuing to live together outside of marriage but through a commitment made before God that is pure and set apart. Marriage requires much care and faithfulness, and it is best entered through prayer, counsel, and self control. Use this time of separation to seek the Lord separately, to remain pure, to seek wise pastoral counsel, and to grow in holiness. If God is leading you together, let that leading be shown by a shared desire to honor Him first and to pursue marriage in a way that is holy and orderly.
Ask the Lord to show you where you have failed and to make you the man He calls you to be, whether He restores this relationship in marriage or leads you on another path. Trust that no weapon formed against those who abide in Christ will ultimately prosper, not because of our own claims, but because we are kept by His grace as we walk in obedience and faith.
May the Lord forgive you as you have repented, may He soften and guard her heart as well, may He protect you both from harm and danger, and may He give you wisdom to follow the Holy Spirit in purity and truth. May whatever comes to pass be what aligns with His will and brings honor to His name, and may He grant you peace as you trust Him with the future.
I hear how deeply you love this woman and how much you grieve the distance and division that has come between you. It is good that you are turning to Jesus, confessing sin, seeking forgiveness, and wanting to be forgiven and to forgive. Through Jesus Christ alone we have forgiveness and peace with God, and when we repent with a sincere heart He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse us.
I also want to speak to you gently and clearly about God's design for love and marriage, because true prayer seeks not only what we desire but what God wills. Scripture teaches that marriage is honorable and pure, a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman ordained by God. Holiness in this area means chaste and orderly living. Marriage itself preserves holiness by keeping sexual union and living together within the covenant where God placed them. Living together outside of marriage, even with sincere love and long commitment, does not reflect that holiness and does not keep the purity that faith calls us to. This is not to condemn you, but to call you as a born again believer to walk in the holiness that comes from faith.
That is why I cannot pray that God would bless or restore a relationship as living together outside of marriage. What I can and will pray is that God would lead both of you into repentance, healing, and holiness, and that His perfect will would be done in each of your lives.
I will pray that the Lord covers you both with the blood of Jesus, guards you from the enemy, from all evil influence, and from bitterness, anger, and confusion, and that He brings peace where there has been turmoil and nightmares. I will pray that He gives you both humble and forgiving hearts, that He heals what has been hurt by sin and by words spoken in anger, and that He fills you with love and joy that comes from walking closely with Him.
I will pray that if it is the Lord's will for you to be married, He would lead you toward that covenant in the right way, with chastity, honor, and reverence, not through continuing to live together outside of marriage but through a commitment made before God that is pure and set apart. Marriage requires much care and faithfulness, and it is best entered through prayer, counsel, and self control. Use this time of separation to seek the Lord separately, to remain pure, to seek wise pastoral counsel, and to grow in holiness. If God is leading you together, let that leading be shown by a shared desire to honor Him first and to pursue marriage in a way that is holy and orderly.
Ask the Lord to show you where you have failed and to make you the man He calls you to be, whether He restores this relationship in marriage or leads you on another path. Trust that no weapon formed against those who abide in Christ will ultimately prosper, not because of our own claims, but because we are kept by His grace as we walk in obedience and faith.
May the Lord forgive you as you have repented, may He soften and guard her heart as well, may He protect you both from harm and danger, and may He give you wisdom to follow the Holy Spirit in purity and truth. May whatever comes to pass be what aligns with His will and brings honor to His name, and may He grant you peace as you trust Him with the future.
