Your trial has been heard, and the Lord who sees your hurt and your fear is not unmindful of you. You speak of being afraid and discouraged, of feeling that you do not deserve any better, and of wanting to flee from a place that has become uncomfortable and painful. This is the very inquiry of fear which Job knew, when he asked, Will he plead against me with his great power.
Hear then the answer of faith. The Lord does not plead against you with His great power to crush you, but He will put strength in you. That very power which you fear is your refuge and your hope, for He lends His omnipotence to the weak. As it is written, Fear thou not, for I am with thee, be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will help thee, saith the Lord.
You feel as a worm Jacob, small and trodden down, yet the word to you is Fear not, thou worm Jacob, I will help thee, saith the Lord. And again Jesus Himself whispers to His fallen servant, Fear not. It is disobedience to remain in fear when such a promise is given, for fear is weakening and dishonors God. Will the arm that piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth be palsied when you need Him.
Do not let your feelings master you. There is nothing so deluding as feelings, and Christians cannot live by feelings. That sense that you deserve nothing and that God will not hear you is not a right feeling, and you must not charge God foolishly. In all his losses and afflictions it is written of Job, In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly. He kept right with God under trial, and if God could uphold Job in all that, you may be sure He can support you. Look to Him for this divine support.
The forgiveness of sin brings with it a holy fear of God, not a servile dread, and when you have received mercy through the precious blood of Christ, you are brought to love and reverence Him who has cleansed you. Come then not upon your own deserving, but upon His mercy, for it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy.
I will pray for you that the Lord will be your protection where men do evil against you, and your guidance where the way is perplexing. May He guard your heart from sin in this time of trial, keep your tongue from speaking unworthily, and give you wisdom whether to remain and do good in this place or to seek another labor where you may serve Him in peace. May He put fresh strength into you, anoint you with fresh oil, and lift you from discouragement to trust.
Let us pray together. O Lord our God, look upon this Thy servant who is afraid and discouraged and hurt. Thou knowest the wrong done and the unkindness suffered at work, and the heaviness that makes the heart to sink. Put strength into this tried one, and let Thy great power be not a terror but a refuge. Help and uphold with the right hand of Thy righteousness. Forgive sin for Christs sake, and put Thy holy fear within the heart, that there may be confidence in Thy mercy. Guide in the matter of daily work, open the right door, and give peace to trust Thy providence. Keep from sin and from charging Thee foolishly, and let this trial work patience and hope. In Jesus name we ask it, Amen.
