We hear your heart and we lift you up before the Lord with deep compassion, for you have honored a holy covenant for more than twenty years. What you describe is not simply a relationship but a marriage. You exchanged vows privately before God, you have referred to yourselves as husband and wife, you have raised children together and built a home together, and even the state recognizes you as legally married. In the eyes of God this is marriage, for Genesis 2:24 says a man will leave his father and his mother and will be joined to his wife and they will be one flesh, and Matthew 19:6 says what therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart. Mark 10:9 confirms this same truth. You are his wife and he is your husband, and to say you were never married is not true and does not align with Scripture. We gently but firmly rebuke that idea, for it attempts to dissolve a covenant that God has established.
We also must address what your husband is speaking over your marriage. The language of finding his soul tribe and that a season has ended and that God has told him to walk away does not align with the Word of God. God hates divorce as Malachi 2:16 declares, and His will for marriage is lifelong faithfulness and reconciliation. Ephesians 5:25 calls husbands to love their wives even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it. To become cold and distant and to refuse to pray with you, for you, or for your marriage is not the love of Christ, and 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 commands that a wife not leave her husband and a husband not leave his wife, and if there is separation, to remain unmarried or be reconciled. A confirmation that contradicts Scripture is not from the Lord, for 1 John 4:1 tells us to test the spirits whether they are of God, and Jeremiah 17:9 reminds us the heart is deceitful above all things. The calmness and peace you feel when you pray for restoration is significant, for Philippians 4:7 says the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus, and James 1:5 promises if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him.
We are encouraged that you are praying in the name of Yeshua, who is Jesus the Messiah, for there is no other name by which we are saved and by which we have access to the Father. Acts 4:12 says there is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved, and John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. It is only through faith in Jesus Christ that we are reconciled to God, and we encourage you to continue to come boldly before His throne in that precious name, trusting not only for your marriage but for your own eternal hope in Him.
We see your patience and your willingness to give space and not pressure him, and that is honorable, yet we encourage you not to walk this painful road alone. Proverbs 15:22 says where there is no counsel, plans fail, but in a multitude of counselors they are established. We urge you to seek godly pastoral counsel and the support of mature believers and elders in your church who can come alongside you both, speak truth in love, and hold your husband accountable to his covenant vows. Continue to live in a way that honors God within your marriage, and we also encourage you to set healthy and prayerful boundaries while you remain under the same roof and even share the same bed, seeking wisdom from the Lord and from counselors about how to guard your heart and home during this time of uncertainty.
We join together with you now and pray for clarity on what God wants for your marriage, for we know His desire is for covenant keeping, repentance, forgiveness, and restoration.
We pray together in the name of Jesus, Heavenly Father, we come before Your throne of grace and lift up this dear wife and her marriage to You. Lord, You see more than twenty years of faithfulness, of raising children, of building a God fearing home, of vows made before You. We ask You to bring clarity that comes from Your Word and Your Spirit, not from feelings or from worldly ideas about soul tribes and seasons. Soften her husband's heart, Lord, remove the coldness and distance, convict him of the holiness of his marriage covenant, and draw him back to love his wife as Christ loves the church. Help him to turn from deception and to seek You with a humble and repentant heart. Give this wife Your wisdom and strength, guard her with Your peace that surpasses understanding, help her to trust in You with all her heart and not lean on her own understanding as Proverbs 3:5-6 teaches, and acknowledge You in all her ways so You will direct her paths. Restore, Lord, what the enemy seeks to destroy, and let Your will be done in this marriage for Your glory. Help them both to hear Your voice clearly and to obey Your Word, and let this home be a testimony of Your redeeming and reconciling power. We pray for healing, for unity, for forgiveness, and for a renewed commitment to the lifelong covenant of marriage between a man and a woman as You designed it. We trust You to work all things together for good for those who love You according to Romans 8:28. In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray, amen.
