We have read your request and we are joining with you in prayer before our heavenly Father, lifting up your home situation and the heaviness you are carrying. We hear how hurt and emotionally exhausted you have felt, and how difficult it is to remain in a home where you do not feel safe to express your emotions without being analyzed or pressured. We ask God to surround you with His peace and to be your refuge while you are not yet able to move.
We want to speak with love and truth about some of what you described. The idea of doing inner child work, speaking to an inner child to comfort her and work through childhood trauma as homework assigned by the person you live with, is not a biblical concept for healing. We believe that true healing for past wounds comes not from looking inward to an inner child, but from looking upward to Christ who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3. In Christ we are made new, old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new 2 Corinthians 5:17, and we are called to be renewed in the spirit of our minds Ephesians 4:23 and to cast all our worries on Him, because He cares for you 1 Peter 5:7. It is not right for someone you live with, who is not a counselor or pastor, to diagnose you, analyze your childhood, or assign you therapeutic homework and then threaten to withhold relationship if you do not comply. That kind of ultimatum and control does not reflect love, for love is patient and is kind, love does not insist on its own way 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, and we gently rebuke that controlling pattern. Even when we understand that autism can mean a person may become intensely focused or speak very intensely when stressed or fixed on an idea, that does not make hurtful, insulting, or angry words acceptable. We are called to let no corrupt speech proceed out of our mouths, but only what is good for building others up Ephesians 4:29 and to let a gentle answer turn away wrath Proverbs 15:1.
We also want to address your living situation with biblical clarity. You refer to the person you live with as he, but you do not tell us if this is a family member, a housemate, or a romantic relationship. If this is a romantic relationship outside of marriage, we encourage you to know that God designed sexual intimacy and sharing a home as husband and wife to be within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman Genesis 2:24, Hebrews 13:4, and living together as boyfriend and girlfriend falls short of that design and is called fornication. If that is your situation we encourage you toward repentance and toward pursuing courtship that honors God with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer, or toward establishing separate and appropriate boundaries while you remain under the same roof. If he is simply a housemate or relative, we still encourage you to maintain clear, godly boundaries for your emotional and spiritual health, and to seek wise, safe counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your local church rather than accepting counseling homework from someone in the home.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we encourage you to place your trust in Jesus, believing that He died for your sins and rose again, confessing Him as Lord Romans 10:9, for He invites all who are weary and burdened to come to Him for rest Matthew 11:28.
We are praying for you and for the person you live with together.
We pray, Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ, that You would grant our sister wisdom liberally as You have promised, for if any lacks wisdom let him ask of God who gives to all liberally and without reproach and it will be given to him James 1:5. Give her wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay quiet, to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger James 1:19, and help her to set loving boundaries without fear, for You have not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7. Let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7, and help her to remain calm without feeling pressured to accept what is not right for her. We pray that arguments in the home would not escalate, that if it is possible, as much as it is up to her, she would live at peace with all Romans 12:18, and that You would soften both hearts, bringing better communication, patience, and mutual respect. Convict him where his words have been harsh or controlling, and teach him to express concerns without insults, anger, or ultimatums, but with grace seasoned with salt Colossians 4:6.
We pray for protection over your home and the property problems you mentioned, for You are our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble Psalm 46:1, and he who dwells in the secret place of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty Psalm 91:1. Provide for her financial needs according to Your riches in glory in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:19, open the right work opportunities, and in Your perfect timing provide a peaceful and stable place of her own where she can dwell in safety. Strengthen her emotionally, for You have said fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, yes I will help you Isaiah 41:10, and let her find her strength made perfect in weakness as Your grace is sufficient 2 Corinthians 12:9. Lead her step by step and make her path clear, for we trust You to direct our steps Proverbs 16:9. We ask all of this in the saving and mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and mediator, amen.
