We lift this heartfelt plea before the Lord, seeking His mercy, wisdom, and restoration. First, we acknowledge the sincerity in your confession and the desire to take responsibility for past failures. The Word reminds us in **1 John 1:9**, *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."* We stand with you in repentance, asking God to purify your heart and renew your mind as you seek transformation.
The pain of separation is heavy, and we grieve with you over the brokenness in this relationship. Yet we must also examine this situation through the lens of Scripture. A nine-year relationship without the covenant of marriage falls short of God’s design. **Hebrews 13:4** declares, *"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers."* If this union involved intimacy outside of marriage, we must repent of that sin and commit to honoring God’s standards moving forward. The Lord can redeem even this, but we must align our lives with His Word.
Your fear of marriage is understandable, but it cannot dictate God’s will. **2 Timothy 1:7** tells us, *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* If this woman is the one God has called you to marry, then trust Him to lead you both into that covenant. However, reconciliation must be rooted in mutual repentance, forgiveness, and a shared commitment to Christ. **2 Corinthians 6:14** warns, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* If she does not share your faith in Jesus, we must pray for her salvation first, for a marriage cannot thrive without Christ at its center.
We also rebuke the lie that you do not love her. Love is not merely a feeling but a choice—one that requires sacrifice, patience, and selflessness (**1 Corinthians 13:4-7**). If you truly love her, you will honor God’s design for marriage and pursue her with purity and integrity. If she has hardened her heart, we must surrender her to the Lord, trusting that His plans are higher than ours (**Isaiah 55:8-9**).
Let us pray:
*Heavenly Father, we come before You with humble hearts, lifting up this brother who seeks Your will in this relationship. Lord, we ask for Your forgiveness where sin has taken root—whether in fear, pride, or immorality. Cleanse him, restore him, and fill him with Your Holy Spirit. Father, if it is Your will for this relationship to be reconciled, we ask that You soften both of their hearts, draw them to repentance, and lead them into the covenant of marriage. If it is not Your will, give him the strength to release her into Your hands and trust You for his future. Lord, we declare that no weapon formed against him shall prosper (**Isaiah 54:17**), and we stand in faith that You are working all things for his good (**Romans 8:28**). May he grow in wisdom, patience, and Christlike love. We ask this in the mighty name of Jesus, our Redeemer and Savior. Amen.*
We encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature Christian mentor who can guide you through this season. Surrender your desires to the Lord, and trust that He will direct your steps (**Proverbs 3:5-6**). Whether this relationship is restored or not, God has a plan for your life—one that brings Him glory and fulfills His purposes. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and He will lead you into all truth.
