Standing in COMPLETE AGREEMENT WITH THIS PRAYER IN THE NAME OF MESSIAH YESHUA! Amen!
Bokkie, I will pray SOME MORE for you, but this is what I truly advise for you:
1) RUN, DO NOT WALK--RUN!--to a therapist or a crisis counseling line! If there is no therapist or crisis counseling available in your area, GO IMMEDIATELY TO A FRIEND OR RELATIVE THAT YOU CAN TALK TO! Do not, do not, do NOT stay around your children if you're feeling that murderous fury rise up in your soul! Perhaps place your children in the hands of neighbors for their safety, BUT GET OUT OF THERE.
2) When you've calmed down and are more in control of yourself/past the red zone, start looking for counseling and therapy. If there's none available, then you will need to get some books on child development and work on this yourself: generally when parents are getting this enraged with their children, the parents themselves have been badly abused as children. ONE OF THE GREATEST WAYS in which parents abuse their children is by having unrealistic expectations of children that are WAY BEYOND the capacity of children to live up to due to state of age/development. This is why I advise that you get books on child development; FIND OUT what your children can really give you and what they can't!! Understand that your children are not out to get you but are JUST KIDS, THEY'RE JUST KIDS!! Too many adults think children are being deliberately wicked when in fact the child just isn't capable of producing a certain result/behavior that the adult demands. Expectations need to be realistic and age-appropriate!!! Otherwise, your expectations will only be a great source of rage!!!
3) Work on self-soothing. Find something that relaxes you and that you can do while working with your children. One option might be to play calming music while you're playing with your kids; it could help to calm both them and you down. Put on some classical music such as CHOPIN NOCTURNES. That stuff is positively soporific and will calm a raging bull down.
4) MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, how is your relationship with Jesus Christ? Are you saved/born again, washed in the Blood of the Lamb? Are you right with God? Do you know Adonai Jehovah Shalom, the God of all Peace? Would you like to have that Peace? If you're born again, are you aware that Jesus gives peace to His children and disciples--"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid" [John 14:27, KJV]. Perhaps you're more already saved, just more choleric than the average believer (I know *I* am); have you thought about asking Jesus to give you more peace in your personality?
Heavenly Father, Adonai Jehovah Shalom...ABBA...
You are the God of all Peace. You are the ONLY source of peace there is! Help Bokkie overcome her anger and rage, and bind the evil one on earth and in heaven from tempting her to abuse her children. Father God, I pray that You place a MIGHTY hedge of thorns around those children, just dripping with the Blood of Jesus; I pray, LORD, that just as Bokkie is ready to hurt her children, You step in and place a HUGE IMAGE OF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR as He lay dying on the Cross, bearing His crown of thorns, in between her and the children. Let Bokkie see the Face of Jesus as she's tempted to mayhem and murder. Save, oh save the children, LORD, and save Bokkie from herself! Bind her flesh and REBUKE satan for using Bokkie to get to those innocent children!! LORD, I pray complete and absolute protection around those children, and I pray that You bless Bokkie and her children with a PERSONAL KNOWLEDGE of the rescuing, healing, peaceful, LOVING Power of Our Lord and Saviour, JESUS CHRIST!
In the Name of Messiah Yeshua,
AMEN, AMEN!!
May Bokkie take heed to this advice and seek YOur face evenmore than ever as You are her only hope, Saviour and Deliverer, in Your Matchless Name we pray-AMen \o/
