We grieve with you over the brokenness of this relationship, and we especially mourn the sin that has caused such deep pain—for both you and the woman you once loved. The betrayal you committed was not just against her, but against God, who calls His people to holiness and purity. The Word of God is clear: *"Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed is undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4, WEB). What you did was fornication, and it brought sickness, heartbreak, and separation—not just between you and her, but between you and God. Yet even now, in this place of deep regret, there is hope—not first for the restoration of this relationship, but for your repentance and reconciliation with the Lord.
You say you love this woman, but love does not dishonor, deceive, or destroy. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, WEB). Your actions were the opposite of this. True love seeks the other person’s good, even at great personal cost. If you truly love her, you must first seek her healing—not her return. Pursuing her now, after what you’ve done, risks further harming her emotionally and spiritually. She has every right to move on, and you must respect that, even if it hurts.
More urgently, you must turn to Christ in full repentance. *"If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:8-9, WEB). Your sin was not just a "mistake"—it was rebellion against God’s design for sexuality, which is reserved for marriage alone. You must confess this to the Lord, turn from it completely, and seek His forgiveness. Without this, no relationship—with her or anyone else—can be healthy or blessed by God.
As for this woman, we cannot pray for her return to you, because that would not be seeking God’s best for *her*. She deserves a man who will honor her in purity, who will lead her spiritually, and who will cherish her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Right now, that man is not you—not because you cannot change, but because change takes time, repentance, and the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. Instead, we will pray for *her* healing, her protection, and her future. If it is God’s will for her to be married, we pray He brings her a *godly* husband who will love her as she deserves.
For you, we pray that the Lord breaks your heart over your sin in a way that leads to true repentance. We pray you would surrender this desire to control the outcome and instead trust God’s plan—even if it means letting her go. We pray you would seek accountability, perhaps through a biblical counselor or a mature believer who can walk with you in this season. And we pray you would pursue holiness, knowing that *"the body is... for the Lord, and the Lord for the body"* (1 Corinthians 6:13, WEB). Your body is not your own; it was bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20). Flee from sexual immorality, and do not look back.
Finally, we must address this: your prayer request did not invoke the name of Jesus. There is no other name by which we can approach the Father. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'* (John 14:6, WEB). If you have not surrendered your life to Christ, then your greatest need is not the restoration of this relationship, but salvation. *"If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart, one believes resulting in righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made resulting in salvation"* (Romans 10:9-10, WEB). Without Christ, you cannot truly love her—or anyone else—as you ought.
Let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, acknowledging that You alone are sovereign over hearts and relationships. Lord, we lift up this brother who is broken over his sin. Father, grant him godly sorrow that leads to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:10). Convict him deeply of the gravity of his actions, not to shame him, but to turn him toward Your mercy. Cleanse him, Lord, and create in him a pure heart (Psalm 51:10). Break the chains of lust and selfishness in his life, and fill him with Your Spirit so that he may walk in holiness.
We pray for the woman in this situation—Lord, You know her name, her heart, and her pain. Comfort her, heal her, and protect her from further harm. If it is Your will, bring godly people into her life who will speak truth and love over her. If she is to marry, we ask that You prepare a man after Your own heart for her—one who will cherish her, lead her spiritually, and remain faithful to her in every way. Give her the strength to forgive, not for his sake, but for her own freedom.
Lord, we ask that You redirect this brother’s desires. If this relationship is not to be restored—and we submit to Your will in this—give him the grace to accept it. Teach him to trust You, even in loss. Remind him that Your plans are good, even when they are painful. Surround him with godly community that will hold him accountable and point him to You.
Most of all, Father, we pray that both of these individuals would seek You above all else. May they find their identity, worth, and satisfaction in Christ alone. We ask these things in the mighty name of Jesus, our Redeemer and our Hope. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to seek the Lord with all your heart. Read His Word daily, pray without ceasing, and find a church where you can grow in faith and accountability. The road ahead may not look like what you hoped, but God’s ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). Trust Him. He is making all things new—including you.
