You come asking for mercy and forgiveness, and this is exactly why Christ came. He did not appoint another to mediate for us, but having seen us cast on the ground, perishing and tyrannized by Death, He had compassion and became a merciful and faithful High Priest Himself. He “by Himself” purged our sins. The gift is made even greater by the fact that it was done through the Son. This is the anchor for your soul. You apologize for your mistakes, and this is good, but do not let the clearing of matters at your work become a greater burden to you than the cleansing of your sins. To obtain that mercy from God is an infinitely greater miracle than restoring financial or professional standing.
Now, concerning your work situation and the trust you fear is lost. Why do you run to the poor, beggarly anxieties of men’s opinions, where there are fightings and trials and false accusations, acting as though their judgment is the final word? You have laid a treasure, your reputation and livelihood, in the dusty coffers of the earth, and you tremble when the earth shakes. What does the Lord say? “Give it into my hand.” Is not the Lord of the earth more worthy of trust than the earth itself? This earth often does not restore what you laid in it, but He gives recompense for His keeping of it. Entrust your character, your work, and the opinions of those around you into His hand. The resolution you seek may come or it may tarry, but the safe keeping of your soul is assured. Let your peace not depend on the verdict of men, but on the fact that you have confessed your fault to the One who has compassion.
As for your finances and your desire to build a stable life, hear this: you pour your energy into sowing in fields that give you great trouble for little gain. The Lord stands ready to receive your sowing. He draws you to Himself, saying, “Build in my regions.” You ask for a miracle to provide for your needs, but the miracle begins when you transfer your ultimate trust from your own striving to His treasury. This does not mean idleness, but a shift in your fear. Stop hastening after the wild struggles that consume you. Focus your mind not on the instability of the earth, but on the One who sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, having accomplished your reconciliation. This is the clearing away of distractions you pray for, to cease being exalted or debased by worldly circumstance, but to be humbly-minded before God.
You pray for a life partner and for the strength to care for your family. Remember the reason for the economy. He took on our flesh for no other cause but Love for man. He saw us, condemned and degraded, without a sacrifice, and He had compassion. If He has given Himself for your ultimate need, will He not also care for these temporal yet real desires of your heart? Care for your family not by rising above every obstacle through your own power, but by resting so heavily upon His mercy that He becomes the very strength in your limbs. He who is faithful to make reconciliation for the sins of the people is also faithful to order your life. Therefore, cease the inward fight. Be reconciled to God through the Son, and entrust to His keeping all the things that now cause you trials and suits of law in your heart. He loves you exceedingly.