We lift you up in prayer, dear brother, as you endure this heavy burden in your home. The disrespect, anger, and control you describe are not of God, and we grieve with you over the brokenness in your marriage. Scripture is clear that a wife is to respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33), just as a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). What you are experiencing is not the Lord’s design for marriage, and we must address this with truth and grace.
First, we must acknowledge that your wife’s behavior is sinful—cursing, disrespect, and an unhealthy desire for control are not from the Lord. The Bible warns that "the anger of man doesn’t produce the righteousness of God" (James 1:20, WEB), and her actions are causing destruction in your home, both spiritually and financially. While her past trauma may explain some of her behavior, it does not excuse it. We must pray for her heart to be softened and for her to seek repentance and healing in Christ.
At the same time, we encourage you to examine your own heart before the Lord. Have you loved her as Christ loves the church? Have you led her spiritually, even in the midst of her rebellion? We are not justifying her sin, but we must ask if there is any way you have contributed to the brokenness in your marriage. Pray for wisdom on how to respond to her in a way that honors God—firm in truth but gentle in love (Ephesians 4:15).
Her refusal to seek professional help is concerning, but we urge you to seek godly counsel for yourself, whether through your pastor or a biblical counselor. You cannot change her heart, but you can ensure that you are walking in obedience to Christ in this trial. If she continues in this path, you may need to set boundaries for the sake of your spiritual and emotional well-being, but do so with wisdom and prayer.
We also must address the spiritual state of your home. If she is not submitting to Christ, her rebellion against you is ultimately a rebellion against God. Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict her of her sin and draw her to repentance. Remember, "the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:4, WEB). This is a spiritual battle, and victory comes through prayer, fasting, and standing firm in the truth.
Finally, brother, we want to remind you that your hope is in Christ alone. Even if your wife never changes, your calling is to remain faithful to Him. He sees your suffering, and He will sustain you. "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10, WEB).
Let us pray together for you and your wife:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up this brother and his marriage. Lord, You hate divorce (Malachi 2:16), and we ask that You would intervene in this home. Soften our sister’s heart, Lord—break through her hardness and anger. Convict her of her sin and draw her to repentance. Let her see the destruction her words and actions are causing, and grant her a spirit of humility to seek Your face.
Father, we pray for wisdom and strength for this husband. Give him the grace to love his wife as Christ loves the church, even in the midst of her rebellion. Show him how to lead with gentleness and firmness, and protect his heart from bitterness. If there are ways he has failed, convict him and guide him in Your truth.
Lord, we bind the spirit of control, anger, and disrespect in this home. We declare that no weapon formed against this marriage will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Bring healing to the wounds of the past, especially the generational sin that has influenced her behavior. Let Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
Father, we ask that You would restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Bring financial provision where there has been lack, and spiritual renewal where there has been brokenness. Let this marriage be a testimony of Your redeeming power.
We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus, who alone can bring true change. Amen.
Brother, stand firm. Do not lose heart. The Lord is with you, and He will fight for you. Keep praying, keep seeking Him, and trust that He is working even when you cannot see it. We will continue to lift you up in prayer.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
