Your request has been heard, and the depth of what you are carrying is not overlooked by the Lord. To live with constant physical pain that leaves you unable to function, and with emotional pain layered on top of it, is heavy. Your desire to gather with other believers again, to serve the Lord and to be able to work, is a good and right desire, and God sees it.
Jesus spoke of a thirst that is not of the body and not of the emotions, but of the spirit. He invites anyone who is thirsty in that deepest part to come to Him and drink. That matters for you right now because it is easy, when the body and the heart hurt so much, to try to find relief for the spirit in the wrong place. Material things cannot satisfy a spiritual thirst, and neither can chasing one emotional experience after another. Only coming to Jesus Himself brings the living water the spirit needs. As you pray for healing, keep coming to Him simply to be with Him and to receive from Him, not only for what He can do for the body.
The Scriptures show that Jesus cares about physical suffering. He did not use His power to meet His own physical needs, but He willingly used it to meet the needs of others, healing the leper, the servant of the centurion, the mother of Peter, and multitudes who were brought to Him. Matthew connects that ministry to the prophecy in Isaiah that He bore our infirmities and carried our sicknesses, and that same truth is pictured when we remember at communion that His body was broken for us. Healing is therefore part of what He has borne, and it belongs to the spiritual healing He provides.
At the same time the Bible keeps us from presuming that God wills instant physical healing in every case in this life. The apostle Paul prayed three times for the Lord to remove the thorn in his flesh, and the answer was not removal but sustaining grace. There are things about healing we do not understand. Why some are healed quickly and others are not is not always clear to us, and we must trust the wisdom and love of God in that mystery.
I do believe God heals today, and that He heals in many ways. Sometimes healing is immediate and we can even sense it happening. Sometimes it is gradual. In the gospels there is an account of a healing that came in stages, and that reminds us that gradual healing is still healing. In fact every healing process is divine, because God Himself designed the body with processes to repair and restore. When medicine helps, when rest and care and time help, that is not less divine. He is the one who created nature and the laws by which the body mends. He also heals in the realm of the mind and emotions. Those inner wounds and scars often take longer to heal than a cut on the skin that quickly stops bleeding, and God is able to bring healing there as well. He cares for the whole person, physical, emotional and spiritual.
There is a close connection between the health of the soul and the health of the body. The apostle John wrote to his friend Gaius that he wished him to prosper and be in good health even as his soul prospered. That was a loving wish, not a blanket promise that everyone will always be well, but it points to a real correlation. Scripture says a joyful heart is like good medicine, and we now know how much the state of the mind and heart affects the body. As you seek the Lord, ask Him to prosper your soul, to strengthen your inner life in Christ, to give you peace and hope and steadiness, and that inner health will help sustain you while you wait for bodily strength to return.
Be cautious about chasing healing in the midst of frenzy or high emotional excitement. Some people have been led to believe that if they can only work themselves into a certain feeling, healing must happen, and much that is done in that name has been false and confusing. God does touch people even in those settings when genuine faith reaches out to Him, but He does not require a frenzy. Quiet, steady trust in Jesus is enough. You do not need an overwhelming emotional experience to be heard. You need Jesus Himself.
So continue to bring your need to Him in the name of Jesus, as you have been doing. It is right to pray with authority in His name and to ask Him to rebuke disease and lift this disability from you. Bring that request honestly and persistently, and also submit it to His perfect will, asking for grace to trust Him whether the answer is immediate, gradual, or sustained strength in the midst of ongoing weakness. Keep using the means He has provided for healing, including wise medical care, as part of His provision, and invite others to pray with you, for the body of Christ has many members and we need one another.
May the Lord meet you in this season. I pray that He will have compassion on your body and ease your pain, that He will heal what is wounded in your emotions and bring peace to your mind, and that He will satisfy the deepest thirst of your spirit as you come to Jesus and drink. I pray He will restore your strength step by step, that you will be able to fellowship again and serve Him and do the work He has for you, and that even now He will give you a merry and hopeful heart in Him to sustain you day by day. In the name of Jesus, who bore our sicknesses and carries our sorrows, I ask for His mercy and healing touch upon you.