Prayer request for an unbelieving, disrespectful, miserable son.

[Anonymous]

I had a stroke and broke my hip and my ### is my only help but he is resentful and very mean because he says he feels stuck. What I’m dealing with doesn’t matter to him at all. I pray that God will soften his heart and give him divine direction. Help me to have patience and wisdom to know how to change this situation.

 

[Articles]

We hear the heaviness of what you are carrying and we lift you up together before the Lord. To endure a stroke and a broken hip while feeling dependent on a son who is resentful and speaks to you with meanness is a deep trial, and we grieve with you in this suffering. We thank you for asking us to pray that God would soften his heart and give him divine direction, and that He would give you patience and wisdom to know how to navigate this situation.

We want to speak plainly about what Scripture says concerning your son's attitude and behavior. The Word commands children to honor their parents regardless of age or circumstance. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which Yahweh your God gives you. Exodus 20:12 and again Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth. Ephesians 6:2-3. Resentment and a harsh, disrespectful tongue toward a mother who is vulnerable and in need of care does not align with God's will. A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1. Feeling stuck or burdened by caregiving may be a real pressure, but it never gives license to be cruel or to act as if your suffering does not matter. We rebuke that hardness and unkindness, and we pray that the Lord will convict him and lead him to repentance, that he would learn to be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32.

We also hear that your son is unbelieving, and this is the root of the matter. Without Christ, the heart remains stony and self focused. We pray for nothing less than his salvation, for God has promised I will also give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26. Only Jesus can transform a miserable, resentful heart into one that loves and serves with joy. We also notice your request mentions God but does not mention Jesus Christ, and we want to lovingly remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father. Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. If your son will confess with his mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in his heart that God raised him from the dead, he will be saved. Romans 10:9. This is our greatest prayer for him, that he would come to know Christ and then out of that new life find divine direction and purpose, trusting with all his heart in Yahweh and not leaning on his own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6.

For you, we pray for healing, comfort, patience and wisdom. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18. We ask God to strengthen your body after the stroke and the broken hip, for He says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10. And for the wisdom you asked for, we cling to the promise But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. We encourage you to keep asking Him daily for that wisdom, for patience that endures, and for the peace which surpasses all understanding. In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7. We also encourage you, if possible, to invite help from your church family, pastor, or trusted believers to bear this burden with you, for we are called to Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2. You should not have to walk this alone with only one resentful helper, and bringing other godly people alongside you may also relieve some of the pressure your son feels and provide wise counsel for boundaries spoken in love.

We pray together now.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, our only mediator and Savior, and we lift up this dear mother to Your throne of grace. You see her pain, her stroke, her broken hip, her dependence and her sorrow over her son's harsh words. Lord, touch her body and bring healing according to Your will, comfort her heart, and guard her with Your peace. Grant her supernatural patience and wisdom liberally as You have promised, that she may know how to respond with grace and truth, and how to seek the right help and direction for this situation. Help her not to be weary in doing good, knowing that in due season she will reap if she does not give up. Galatians 6:9.

And Father, we lift up her son to You. Have mercy on him. Forgive his disrespect and hardness. Soften his stony heart and give him a new heart that loves You and honors his mother. Open his eyes to see his need for Jesus, draw him to salvation, and give him divine direction for his life so he no longer lives in resentment and misery but in the joy of serving Christ. Teach him to honor his mother and to serve not with complaining but with love. We ask that You would bring godly influences around him and around his mother, and provide additional help and community so this burden is shared in a healthy, biblical way. We trust You to work all things for good and to be near to both of them in this trial. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, amen.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this has been for you, recovering from a stroke and a broken hip while depending on a son who is resentful and unkind. To need help so deeply and then feel that your pain does not matter to the one helping you is lonely and exhausting. We are praying for you in this.

You asked for patience and wisdom and for God to soften his heart and give him direction. We are joining you in that. It makes sense that he says he feels stuck. When one person suddenly becomes the only caregiver, especially around the clock, the pressure can quickly wear down even good intentions. That does not make harsh words okay, but it helps explain why he may be reacting out of overwhelm rather than just unkindness.

One thing that may ease some of the strain for both of you is not carrying this alone if there is any way not to. Is there one trusted person you could reach out to this week, a pastor, a family friend, a neighbor, or the social worker or nurse connected to your doctor, to talk honestly about what help you need and what respite might be possible? Even a few hours of shared care, a ride, or someone to check in can give him breathing room and give you another caring presence. Please also keep following up with your medical team for your healing after the stroke and hip injury, alongside our prayers for you.

Father, we lift this dear one to You in Jesus' name. Bring healing and strength in body, comfort in loneliness, and wisdom for each next step. Soften hearts in this home, give this son direction and a way forward, and surround them both with supportive help. Give patience and peace day by day. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your trial has been brought before the Lord and He sees it as though you were made of glass. He sees all your past, present and future, and He reads the heart not merely as men read the outward garments. He knows the pain of the stroke and the broken hip, the weakness of the body and the heavier burden of a son whose help is given with resentment and unkind words.

We have taken your request to the throne of grace and we join you in praying that God will soften your son's heart and give him divine direction. We pray especially that the Lord will bring him to Himself, for there is no true softening apart from the new birth. As we have often seen in the parable, when the prodigal was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and it was not with icy eyes that he looked upon him. The father ran and fell upon his neck and kissed him much, and those kisses were the seal of forgiveness and of overflowing comfort. So we pray that your son, though now unbelieving and far off, may be met by that same prodigal love, that he may come to know the Lord through pardoned sin, through the substitution of Jesus who was made a curse for us, and so know what it is to be accepted in the Beloved.

Take comfort from the remembrance of Manasseh, who did great evil and caused his children to pass through the fire, yet when he was in affliction he besought the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. A proud rebellious heart humbled itself before God and the Lord pardoned and smiled upon the penitent. What mercy did for a king of Judah who had polluted the land, that same mercy can do for a resentful son. He joys in the return of the prodigal and all Heaven shares in His joy.

We pray also for you, that in this season of dependence and sorrow you may have patience and wisdom. Wisdom is not found by human labor and skill to attain unto it, but the Lord gives it to those who ask Him. We ask that He will uphold you and strengthen you, that His voice may come into the heart of one who feels sinking, and create light where there is darkness. May He teach you how to answer with gentleness, how to set needful bounds with love, and how to cast your care upon Him who cares for you. If there are others in your household of faith or in the church who can share the practical burden, seek their help, that your son may not remain feeling stuck and alone in the care he gives, and that you may not be left without kindness in your infirmity.

We pray that the Lord will work in both hearts, to bring your son to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, through whom alone is salvation and forgiveness of sins, and to give you peace as you rest in the Father who says to the returning sinner, through My dear Son you are welcome to My home. May you know that acceptance streaming into your soul as sunshine through a window, and find safe keeping though surrounded by trial.