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AmenWe understand the weight of your decision and the desire to seek God’s perfect will in choosing a spouse, for marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by Him. First, we must gently but firmly address something critical: your request does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father and by whom we are saved. The Scriptures declare, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). It is only in the name of Jesus that we can boldly approach God’s throne, so we encourage you to always pray in His holy name, acknowledging Him as Lord and Savior. If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so now, for *"if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9, WEB). Without this foundation, no decision—no matter how earnest—can be fully aligned with God’s will.
Now, regarding your situation, we must also address the fact that you are considering two men simultaneously. The Bible teaches that a woman is to be the wife of *one* husband (1 Corinthians 7:2, WEB), and the courtship process should be one of purity, intentionality, and singular focus. Having two men actively pursuing marriage with you at the same time is not wise, as it can lead to emotional entanglement, confusion, and even sin if boundaries are not guarded. *"A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways"* (James 1:8, WEB), and this principle applies here as well. We strongly encourage you to step back from both relationships for a season of prayer, fasting, and seeking God’s face *alone*. Ask the Lord to make His will undeniably clear, and be willing to release both men into His hands. If either of them is truly the one God has for you, the Lord will preserve that connection in His timing.
Before we pray, let us examine what Scripture says about choosing a spouse. A godly marriage is not built on mere emotion, compatibility, or even sincerity, but on a shared faith in Christ and a commitment to His Word. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). Are both of these men born-again believers who walk in obedience to Christ? Do they lead you closer to the Lord, or do their affections distract you from Him? A soulmate, in the biblical sense, is not someone who completes you but someone who *complements* you in Christ—someone who will help you fulfill God’s purposes for your life. *"He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh"* (Proverbs 18:22, WEB), but this favor comes when the choice is rooted in wisdom, prayer, and alignment with God’s Word.
We also urge you to examine the fruit of these men’s lives. *"By their fruits you will know them"* (Matthew 7:16, WEB). Do they exhibit the qualities of a godly husband as outlined in Scripture? Are they men of integrity, humility, and selfless love, as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25)? Or are they driven by lust, insecurity, or worldly ambitions? A man who is truly seeking God’s will for your life will respect your need for clarity and will not pressure you into a decision. If either of them is pushing for marriage without honoring your desire to seek the Lord first, that is a red flag.
Lastly, we must ask: have you guarded your heart and your body in these relationships? *"Flee sexual immorality!"* (1 Corinthians 6:18, WEB). Any physical intimacy outside of marriage is sin, and it will cloud your judgment and grieve the Holy Spirit. If there has been compromise in this area, we urge you to repent and commit to purity moving forward. A relationship built on fornication is not founded on Christ and will struggle to honor God in marriage.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our sister who seeks Your divine direction in this critical season of her life. Lord, we ask that You forgive her for any way she has sought guidance without first acknowledging Your Son, Jesus, as the only way to You. Open her eyes to the truth of the Gospel if she has not yet surrendered her life to Christ, and draw her into a deep, abiding relationship with You.
Father, we ask that You bring clarity where there is confusion. You are not the author of chaos but of peace (1 Corinthians 14:33). If there is any emotional or spiritual entanglement with these men that is not of You, we pray You would sever it by the power of Your Spirit. Give her the strength to step back from both relationships until Your will is undeniably clear. Let her not be led by fear, loneliness, or the opinions of others, but by Your Word and Your Spirit alone.
Lord, expose any motives in these men that are not aligned with Your will. If either of them is not the spouse You have prepared for her, remove them from her life in a way that leaves no doubt. If one of them *is* Your choice, make it so obvious that she cannot miss it. Give her wisdom to see beyond words and into the heart—into the fruit of their lives. Let her choose a man who will love her as Christ loves the church, who will lead her spiritually, and who will honor You in their marriage.
Father, we rebuke any spirit of confusion, indecision, or fear that may be at work in this situation. We bind the enemy from influencing her emotions or clouding her judgment. Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and let that peace be the confirmation of Your will.
If there has been any sexual sin in these relationships, we ask for Your forgiveness and cleansing. Restore her purity and give her the grace to walk in holiness from this day forward. Let her relationships from this point on be marked by honor, self-control, and a commitment to Your standards.
Finally, Lord, prepare her heart to be a godly wife—submissive to You first, and then to her husband as unto You (Ephesians 5:22). Teach her to trust in You with all her heart and lean not on her own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). Let her marriage, when it comes, be a testimony of Your goodness and a reflection of Christ’s love for His bride.
We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Our sister, we encourage you to spend time in fasting and prayer, seeking the Lord’s face without distraction. Read Proverbs 31 and Ephesians 5 to understand the biblical roles of a husband and wife. Write down the qualities you believe God is calling you to prioritize in a spouse, and ask the Lord to either confirm or correct your list. Surround yourself with mature believers who can speak wisdom into your life, and be willing to submit to their godly counsel.
Remember, delay is not denial. If the Lord is asking you to wait, trust that He is working all things for your good (Romans 8:28). Do not rush into marriage out of fear or impatience, but wait for the man who will cherish you, lead you spiritually, and walk with you in obedience to Christ. The right choice, made in God’s timing, will bring peace, joy, and a marriage that glorifies Him. Stay steadfast in prayer, and do not waver in your trust in the Lord. He will guide you.