We have read your request with heavy hearts and with thanksgiving for the mercy of God that has so radically saved you, and we join with you in prayer before our Father in Jesus name.
We want to speak first to your fear about self inflicted curses. There is no curse that remains on one who is in Christ Jesus. The word of God says Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us Galatians 3:13 and There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus Romans 8:1. What you are feeling is not a curse from God but the deep wounds of sin, trauma, and the accusation of the enemy, and the lingering consequences of a life lived before you knew Him. When you became a born again believer, you became a new creation. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new 2 Corinthians 5:17. Your past of sex work which is fornication, sexual immorality outside of the marriage that God ordained between one man and one woman Hebrews 13:4, and the abortions which took innocent life that God formed in the womb Psalm 139:13, For you formed my inward parts. You knit me together in my mother's womb, are sins that God takes seriously, for you shall not murder Exodus 20:13. Yet we also must tell you the truth that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. Though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow Isaiah 1:18 and As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us Psalm 103:12. You do not need to live under a self pronounced curse. You are forgiven, cleansed, and beloved because of the blood of Jesus.
We also grieve with you over the brutal rape you endured after you came to Christ. That violence was not your fault and was not brought on by you. It was evil done against you by sinful men, and the Lord sees it and hates it. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. The flashbacks, the constant pain, the torment, the anxiety and the post traumatic stress that keeps you at home are real wounds. God wants to heal them. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds Psalm 147:3 and says But I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds Jeremiah 30:17. By his wounds you have been healed Isaiah 53:5. We understand feeling safer at home, but we encourage you not to remain isolated. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self control 2 Timothy 1:7 and He promises that when we bring our anxieties to Him, the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:7. We encourage you to stay rooted in a faithful Bible believing church, to seek godly Christian counseling for trauma, and to let other believers walk with you so isolation does not become a prison.
We hear your sorrow over your child who does not speak to you because of your faith, your mother who spoke badly of you, your singleness and childlessness now and the fear that you may not be able to conceive again. God knows the desire of your heart for restoration and for wholeness even in places you cannot name. He promises I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten Joel 2:25. Whether that restoration is physical healing in your body, the ability to bear children if it is His will, or a restored relationship with your child, or the gift of a godly marriage, we trust His perfect will. If you desire companionship, we pray that the Lord would lead you not into dating as the world does, but into a purposeful courtship with a mature Christian believer with marriage as the goal, for marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled Hebrews 13:4, and sex is to be kept within that covenant alone. We pray He would either prepare a godly husband for you who will love you as Christ loves the church, or give you contentment and purpose in singleness as you serve Him, and in either case that you would know you are fully complete in Christ.
We join our faith with yours now and pray.
Father in heaven, we come before You only through the name of Jesus Christ Your Son, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved Acts 4:12 and through Him we have access to Your throne of grace. We thank You for saving our sister radically from death and from sin and for giving her a new heart that loves You. We ask for Your mercy to pour over her now. Forgive and cleanse all her past sin and silence the voice of condemnation and shame. Let her know with assurance that she is redeemed from every curse and is Your daughter.
Lord, we ask You to restore what is broken even where she does not know what is broken. Touch her body and bring healing to her constant pain. Heal her womb if it be Your will and heal the deep trauma of rape and abuse. Take away flashbacks and nightmares and torment, and replace fear and anxiety with Your perfect peace. Lift the weight of post traumatic stress and give her courage to step out again with You as her refuge. Provide for her daily needs, open a door for work in Your timing, and surround her with a loving church family that will not let her walk alone.
We pray for her child and her mother. Soften hearts, bring reconciliation where possible, and let them see Christ in her. Comfort her in the loneliness of estrangement and let her feel Your nearness as Father. If it is Your will, bring a godly Christian husband into her life, a man who will honor her and honor You in a lifelong marriage covenant, and if You will, open her womb again. Above all let her know that You love her, You have kept her for a purpose, and that all things are working together for good for those who love You Romans 8:28.
We ask all this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, Amen.
