A
Amb
Guest
i have been waiting for 8 years to marry a man i believe god revealed to be my husband. people hear my story and can't understand it any other way... many things have happened to cause me to wait - the easiest one to explain is that one time I was praying over and over "oh God, i love him but I can't wait" - only this phrase for at least 15 minutes and then this one man just reached out to touch me, he had no idea what i was thinking and he said " amber - true love waits, true love waits! and my heart was immediately changed because it spoke to me! many other such things have happened when I wanted to give up. i have felt trapped many times in this conviction, for it is a heavy burden to bear because although i do love him, he doesn't love me in that way, although i am special to him. one day when i was wrestling with it, and aching for freedom and searching for what it meant to have freedom in christ, i opened a devotional and it said " to obey god is freedom", i was convicted to keep obeying. he recently started a relationship with someone else and my heart is in such turmoil, thinking about them together and begging god for mercy because i don't want to be ashamed and i am hurting so so badly, i want to die - not in a suicidal way, but just hurt so badly and can't stop thinking about it... please please pray for me - i am desperately seeking god, but i also have been doing so for 8 years and don't know how else to go about it... i'm devastated... please pray for me, for god's will to become absolutely clear to me and especially to this man and even this girl that he is with as i wish her no harm... I wanted to tell him my story and why i was waiting - it' s over two hours, but he doesn't want to hear it and says god can tell him - i agree, perhaps i was too desperate. I am trying to trust god, i'm just very broken right now. thank you.
