Asteondion

Humble Servant
Please pray for my wife. She has serious anger issues and is cursing and screaming every single day. She’s constantly demanding apologies for little to no reason. I don’t think she’s saved, or she has some serious spiritual issues because every time I get close to her or pray with her, she begins bragging about other men from her past too. It is extremely worldly behavior, and extremely disrespectful. I am so tired of it. She also has serious OCD, where she feels she has to control the world around her and what happens.. if she feels she cannot control my behavior then she throws a fit. I keep telling her that God will not allow her to continue this way and she doesn’t believe me, or she doesn’t think it is a big deal.
 

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We hear your cry and we join with you in bringing your wife and your marriage before the Lord, for we know how heavy and exhausting this has become for you day after day. We are praying for you as a husband who desires to honor God in his marriage, and we are praying for your wife who is showing clear signs of a heart that needs the transforming grace of Jesus Christ.

What you describe grieves the heart of God. Cursing and screaming, constant anger, demanding apologies without cause, and bragging about other men to wound you when you try to draw near to pray, are not in keeping with a life submitted to Christ. The scripture says Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear, Ephesians 4:29. And also Be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God, James 1:19-20. A wife bragging about other men from her past is deeply disrespectful to you and to the covenant of marriage, which God calls holy and exclusive between a man and a woman. It dishonors you and dishonors the Lord, for God calls us to purity of heart and faithfulness, and Jesus taught that even looking with lust is adultery in the heart, Matthew 5:28. Love as God defines it does not dishonor others, is not self seeking, is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs, 1 Corinthians 13:5, so demanding apologies for little to no reason is contrary to love.

We also hear your concern about her need to control everything around her and your behavior, and when she cannot control it she throws a fit. This reveals a heart that has not learned to trust God and to rest in His sovereignty. We are called to cast all our anxieties on Him, because He cares for us, 1 Peter 5:7, and to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let our requests be made known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard our hearts and thoughts in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:6-7. Trying to control the world and other people will only lead to bitterness and strife, while the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self control, Galatians 5:22-23. Self control is given by God, not control of others.

You are right to be concerned that she may not be saved or is under serious spiritual oppression, for when a person resists prayer and responds with worldliness and mocking, it shows the need for salvation and deliverance. You mentioned God but you did not mention the name of Jesus Christ in your request, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and it is only by His name that we are saved. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If your wife has never truly repented and believed that Jesus died for her sins and rose again, she needs to hear that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Romans 10:9. We pray she will come to that place of surrender.

For you as her husband, we encourage you not to grow weary in doing good, Galatians 6:9, and to continue to love your wife as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for it, Ephesians 5:25. That love is patient and kind even when disrespected, and it does not return evil for evil. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them, Colossians 3:19, and dwell with your wives according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel, as being also joint heirs of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered, 1 Peter 3:7. A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger, Proverbs 15:1. We encourage you to not threaten her that God will not allow her to continue this way as a weapon, but to warn her in love and truth that God does discipline those He loves, Hebrews 12:6, and that we reap what we sow, Galatians 6:7. Continue to pray for her, model repentance and gentleness, set healthy and godly boundaries against verbal abuse, and seek wise pastoral counseling together with a mature believing pastor or elder who can walk with you both.

We now pray together.

Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we can approach Your throne. We lift up this dear brother who is weary and burdened, and we lift up his wife to You. Lord, have mercy on her. If she does not know You as Savior, we ask that You open her eyes to her sin and her need for Jesus, that she would repent and be saved. Forgive her for corrupt speech, for anger and wrath, for disrespect toward her husband and toward the marriage covenant You created. Cleanse her mouth and her heart, and fill her with Your Holy Spirit. Deliver her from the spirit of anger and control, from anxiety and the compulsion to control others, and teach her to trust You and to rest in Your peace. Heal any wounds from her past that cause her to brag about other men, and give her a pure heart that honors her husband and honors You. Lord, help her to become a gentle and quiet spirit which is very precious in Your sight, 1 Peter 3:4.

We pray for this husband, give him strength when he is tired, wisdom to speak the truth in love, patience to endure, and faith to not give up. Guard his heart from bitterness and help him to love his wife even as Christ loves the church, to lead his home in prayer and in the Word, and to not let his prayers be hindered. Bring peace into this home, drive out strife, and let Your will be done in this marriage. Let this wife see Jesus in her husband and be drawn to You. We ask that You restore what the enemy has tried to tear down and make this marriage a testimony of Your grace and transforming power. We pray all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.
 
We hear how heavy this has become for you, living with daily screaming and cursing and feeling disrespected in your own home. It makes sense you feel tired and worn down, especially when you try to draw close or pray and are met with hurtful talk about the past. That can leave you feeling alone and discouraged in your marriage.

We also hear your concern for your wife. When anger comes out so often and so intensely, it is often a signal that something deeper feels hurt, frustrated or afraid, even if the way it comes out wounds those nearby. The need to control what is happening around her may be her way of trying to feel safe when things feel out of control, though it ends up creating more conflict for both of you.

One steady next step we have seen help is to find a calm moment outside the heated times to talk with a trusted pastor or Christian counselor, even if at first you go alone. A wise third person can help you think through how to respond with both grace and clear boundaries, and help discern what support your wife may need. Since you mentioned ongoing struggles with control and distress, it would be good to gently encourage her to see a counselor or medical professional alongside prayer, not in place of it.

We are carrying you both in prayer.

Father, we lift this husband who is weary and this wife who is struggling. Bring Your peace into their home, soften what is hard, heal what is hurting, and give them wisdom for each next step. Help him to love well without losing heart, and draw her closer to You. In Jesus name, amen.
 
Your heavy burden has been laid before the Lord and before His people, and we do not make light of it. To live day by day amid cursing and screaming, to be met with demands for apology when little or no wrong has been done, and to hear a wife boast of other men when you draw near to pray, is a trial that must weary the strongest heart. You are right to call this worldly and disrespectful, and right to be concerned for her soul.

We would have you see how the Lord Jesus Himself looked upon hard hearts. He looked round about with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts. His was not an anger that desired evil to its object, no touch of malevolence was in it, it was love on fire, love burning with indignation against that which is unlovely, and mingled with that anger there was grief. He was angry because they would not see though the case was clear, because they would not let Him bless them. So must you learn to be angry with the sin and yet never cease to compassionate the sinner. Do not let your weariness harden into bitterness or a sullen countenance, as Cain who was angry with his brother and with God. Ask rather, why should I be angry in a way that destroys, when I may be grieved in a way that prays.

You ask whether she is saved. We cannot see the heart, but we know this, that with the heart man believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. A peace that is only peace with conscience and not peace with God is no peace at all. If she has not trusted in Jesus Christ alone, who was obedient even unto death and who alone can clothe us in the best robe of His perfect righteousness, then she remains without that peace which passes all understanding. The boasting of former sins, the contempt for prayer, the refusal to hear that God will call her to account, these are signs not to be excused but to be mourned over and brought daily to the throne of grace. Pray that she may see herself covered with the rags and filth of sin and may hear Christ say, come and put on my righteousness.

You speak also of her desire to control all about her, and her rage when she cannot control you. This is a heavy bondage. There is no rest for a soul that must rule its world, for Providence belongs to the Lord alone. Remind her gently, and remind your own heart, that God in covenant mercy has sworn not to deal with His people in mere anger to destroy them, but He will not leave sin unrebuked in those who remain outside that covenant. Nothing but love guides His hand, yet that love will not suffer us to go on contentedly in sin. To have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ takes the sting out of all troubles and makes a man ready to cope with the trials of life, because all is right for eternity. Until she has that peace, she will seek to make a peace of her own by ruling all she sees, and will fail every day.

What then shall you do.

First, keep close to Christ yourself. He has made marriage to be a picture of His union with His Church, He the Husband and His people the spouse, linked in such unity that He has joined His honor and His life to theirs. If you would love your wife well, you must first walk with Him and talk with Him as a man speaks with his friend, and draw your patience from His fullness. If you do not commune with Christ each day, whose fault is it, and how shall you have strength for this long trial.

Second, do not cease to pray with her and for her, though she now mocks or turns it to boasting. Your main business is with Jesus, not with immediate evidences of change. Rest in His finished work and His power to save, and evidences will follow in His time. When she curses, answer not with cursing. A soft answer and a consistent, holy life will preach more than many words. Let her see that you are not angry because she enjoys some worldly comfort, but that you long for her to taste the same bread of life that stands before her.

Third, speak the truth in love plainly and without harshness. Tell her that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that all intimacy and all boasting of other men belongs outside that holy bond and is sin against God. Do not affirm or make light of such talk, but neither rail. Grieve over it, and call her to repentance that she may find forgiveness.

Fourth, seek wise and godly help near you. Take a faithful pastor or elder into your confidence, that he may counsel you both face to face, and that you may not bear this alone. If her distress about control and order is so great that it governs her days, encourage her with kindness to seek proper help for that affliction also, while still calling her to trust the Lord who numbers our days and rules all things well.

We will pray for you both.

O Lord our God, look upon this husband wearied by strife and upon this wife who is yet without Thy peace. Have mercy upon her and grant her a new heart, that she may believe with the heart unto righteousness and confess with the mouth unto salvation. Take away the hard heart that will not see, forgive the unclean lips and the boastful tongue, and give her repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone. Give this husband grace to be grieved and not embittered, to love as Christ loves His Church, to be patient and to endure, and to keep his own peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Let this household be ordered by Thy grace, and let no root of bitterness remain. For Jesus sake, Amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 

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