I
ilyaideki
Guest
Dear Lord, My eyes are filled with tears, and my heart is broken; yet, it seems that my prayers might be seen as wrong or in the wrong way. I truly try, and I know you know this, as you truly know our hearts, I try to pray for your will and to trust what that means in my life....and go on to be patient (failing often), faithful (truly never questioning You), and try to serve you and my community (knowing that I can do and be more...and strive for this). But then, I guess I find myself wondering about telling you all of my hurts and brokenness and prayers for my relationship which is struggling and facing such hardship, and being unmarried still at this point, how to tell you those hurts and ask for what my heart knows and what I feel called by you to pray about. It seems that often the response from other Christians for the "unmarried" but truly desiring and working toward marriage is one of praying for your will....and surely, I believe and know this. Yet, for those married couples, who had to have faced trials prior to marriage, troubles and trials are met with prayer warriors offering prayers of protection and renewal and of course, your will, as well. I too pray for married couples in this way when troubles are present, and even when trials are not present. Yet, If I am not married, but completely committed and loyal and loving to one man (noting here that we are not in a physical or sexual relationship at this time, having experienced that in this relationship and stopped and asking now for God's forgiveness and healing and to be restored in marriage with one another) , both of us in this relationship KNOWING that marriage is the ONLY outcome for a relationship that endures and glorifies you, both of us desiring to have this relationship be complete through marriage and a marriage based on loving you and serving you FIRST, should I NOT pray for protection and restoration of trust and renewal through your love? But it seems that when I pray over or ask for help or prayer in any way for this relationship that, lacking a marriage vow at this point, I am only told to pray for your will in our lives. Dear Lord, I do KNOW and believe and even understand this, and I guess it is the ONLY thing I should say in prayer then---"Lord, I pray for your will in our lives to be clear and our trust in you to be strong," leaving out any prayers related to protection or renewal. However, when I look at or hear prayers for those couples that have made it to the place of marriage (assuming there were bumps and trials for them too), the prayers are still, of course, always for your will....but there seems to be a difference, a big difference. I am trying to understand; I am, and you know that I have prayed about this as well. Yet, I ask in prayer and with my whole heart focused on you and praying that this relationship be healed and restored, FIRST, to allow us to praise you TOGETHER, to live in your word, and to just be joyful and serve you together. This is something that I KNOW we both desire in our lives and in our hearts....to know and share Jesus with others, also helping others through OUR commitment and OUR trials and a healthy outcome and through OUR love for You. So, I ask for prayer for "S and P" not yet married, in fact, experiencing very rough waters, troubles, separation, disconnection, and confusion, but with so much love for one another, and first and at the top, a love for you, Lord....with this, I ask for prayer and protection over uz and for prayers to restore and renew this relationship. I ask that a "wall of fire" be present and that "no weapon formed against this relationship prosper" and that your love and protection that is so easily prayed for those already married be offered for those truly working toward marriage and toward a life focused on You. I pray this not in selfishness or bitterness toward anyone in any way, but You know this, but also for others reading this and choosing to pray for us or not, to know my heart in this. I pray this with tears in my eyes today, hurting, and praying to have this very special relationship that is experiencing trials and troubles right now be considered in prayer, for protection, restoration, reconciliation, and yes, first and foremost, in your will. I pray also that these words and prayer that I have just written and asked for are understood by others, married or unmarried, knowing we ALL have trials in getting to that place that God truly wants us to be, that we ALL need prayer and support in our relationships, married or unmarried, and that if the true heart of an unmarried couple is toward marriage and committing a life together rooted completely in a life glorifying God, that ANY AND ALL help and prayer and support is what He would want from each of us. I pray now for this, with my heart only asking for those who feel called to do so, to pray for my relationship to be HEALED and that we are reunited as a couple, and more and more each day that we grow stronger in our walk with the Lord and carry the Lord with uz in each and every moment of trials and joys....but, even more so, today and at this moment, I pray for and ask for prayers of protection and that any circumstance working against this relationship or creating any sort of barrier for reconciliation and healing now be removed from our path, and I pray that God forgive us our wrong choices and help us to forgive one another without hesitation. Finally, I pray and ask prayer over every unmarried couple working toward marriage and that may be experiencing trials and trying to find support and prayer in these times. God is rooting for us and wants the best for us! Just as married couples must make a choice to sustain a relationship, endure hard times, forgive and heal, and look to God for all their support, so should unmarried couples committed to one another and working toward that day in which a vow is taken in the presence of family, friends, and God. May he bless us all.
