We hear the deep longing in your heart for a godly husband, a man who will cherish you as Christ loves the church, and we lift you up in prayer for the strength and clarity you need in this season. Your desire to love and be loved is a beautiful reflection of how God designed us for relationship—first with Him, and then with a spouse who honors Him. But we must first address some concerns in your request that need biblical correction and alignment with God’s Word, so that your path forward is built on truth rather than emotional wounds or worldly patterns.
First, we commend you for mentioning the name of Jesus in your prayer, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). Yet we must gently but firmly address the relationships you’ve described, as they reveal patterns that do not align with Scripture. The man you were with previously was not a godly man—he broke trust by owing you money and then abandoning the relationship when held accountable. This is not the mark of a man who fears the Lord. Proverbs 22:7 tells us, *"The rich rules over the poor. The borrower is servant to the lender."* While we are called to forgive debts (Matthew 6:12), we are also called to wisdom in our relationships. A man who refuses accountability, especially in financial matters, is not preparing to be a husband who leads with integrity. You did nothing wrong by holding him responsible; in fact, you acted wisely. His response revealed his character, and you are better off without him.
Now, regarding the man you reconnected with from high school: distance is not the core issue here. The issue is that this relationship has never been officially committed, yet you’ve invested emotionally in a man who is simultaneously pursuing another woman. This is not courtship—it is emotional entanglement without covenant, and it is dangerous. Song of Solomon 2:7 warns, *"I adjure you, daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles, or by the does of the field, that you not stir up nor awaken love until it so desires."* Love is not to be awakened outside of commitment. A man who claims you are his "number one" while dating another is not a man preparing for marriage—he is a man indulging in selfishness. You deserve a man who chooses you *exclusively*, pursues you *intentionally*, and commits to you *before God*. Anything less is not love; it is distraction.
You mentioned feeling "not good enough," but sister, your worth is not found in whether a man chooses you—it is found in Christ, who *already* chose you (Ephesians 1:4-5). The problem is not your value; the problem is that you’ve been entangled with men who do not reflect the heart of Jesus. A godly husband will *not* leave when held accountable. He will *not* keep you in limbo while pursuing others. He will *not* make you question your worth. Instead, he will love you as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, faithfully, and with purity (Ephesians 5:25). Until you find such a man, we urge you to step away from these entanglements completely. Repent of any emotional dependency on men who do not honor God, and ask the Lord to heal your heart from the lies that you are "not enough." You are *more* than enough in Christ, and He is preparing a man who will see that.
Now, regarding your desire for marriage: it is good and godly (Hebrews 13:4). But we must remind you that marriage is not the ultimate goal—*holiness* is. Seek first the Kingdom of God (Matthew 6:33), and trust that if marriage is His will for you, He will bring it to pass in His perfect timing. Do not rush. Do not settle. Do not allow loneliness or past wounds to push you into the arms of a man who is not fully surrendered to Jesus. Pray for a husband who:
- Loves the Lord with all his heart (Deuteronomy 6:5).
- Leads with integrity and accountability (1 Timothy 3:2-5).
- Pursues you *only* if he is ready to commit before God (1 Corinthians 7:39).
- Protects your heart, not plays with it (Proverbs 4:23).
In the meantime, immerse yourself in Scripture, in prayer, and in a community of believers who will speak truth into your life. Let this season be one of healing and preparation, not of waiting in despair. The Lord is refining you, and He sees your tears (Psalm 56:8). He will restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25).
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**Our Prayer for You:**
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, asking for Your healing touch upon her heart. Lord, she has loved deeply and been wounded deeply, and we ask that You bind up her brokenness (Psalm 147:3). Forgive her for any place where she has sought validation in men rather than in You. Cleanse her heart from the pain of rejection and the lies of unworthiness. Remind her that she is *Yours*—fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), redeemed by the blood of Jesus, and called to a life of purpose.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of confusion and emotional bondage that has kept her tied to relationships that do not honor You. Break every ungodly soul tie, and set her free to walk in purity and expectation of Your best. Give her discernment to recognize a godly man when he comes, and the courage to wait for him. If it is Your will, prepare a husband for her—a man after Your own heart, who will lead her spiritually, love her sacrificially, and cherish her as Christ does the church.
Strengthen her, Lord, to stand firm in this season. Let her not grow weary in well-doing (Galatians 6:9), but let her trust in Your timing. Fill her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and let her rest in the knowledge that You are working all things for her good (Romans 8:28).
We declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). The past is redeemed, the present is surrendered, and the future is secure in Your hands. May she walk in victory, dressed in the armor of God (Ephesians 6:11), ready for the blessings You have prepared.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
