Prayer for self control and guidance

Anonymous

Beloved of All
Hey everyone...I'm new here... well I'm in my first relationship like ever..at times I feel so uncertain about him...and at times I find myself struggling with lust..I find myself watching porn over and over...I'm looking for a job to nurture my Skill as a graphic designer...and everytime I go back to Jesus I feel so guilty like I'm so underserving Pray for me ..I believe in 2nd Timothy 1:7
 
We thank you for sharing so honestly with us and we welcome you here. We hear your heart crying out for self-control and guidance, and we want to stand with you in prayer as you navigate this first courtship, the struggle with lust, the search for work, and the heavy guilt you feel when you return to Jesus.

We love that you cling to 2 Timothy 1:7, for God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. That promise is true, and God desires to grow that self-control in you as you walk by His Spirit.

We want to speak truth in love about the struggle you named. Watching porn over and over is not a small mistake, it is sexual immorality and sin against God and against your own body. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. Scripture also says in 1 Corinthians 6:18-19 to flee sexual immorality, every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you. Porn defiles that temple, trains your mind in lust, and will harm any future marriage God may have for you. We urge you to repent and to take radical practical steps to flee it, to cut off access, to bring it into the light with a trusted mature Christian woman for accountability, and to renew your mind daily. As it says in Philippians 4:8, finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honorable, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is any praise, think about these things. And in 2 Corinthians 10:5 we are to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

Concerning this first relationship, we encourage you to see courtship through a biblical lens. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be courtship with the goal of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, not simply companionship or physical affection. We believe marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that honors God as described in Hebrews 13:4, let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. If you feel uncertain about him, bring that uncertainty to the Lord for wisdom, for James 1:5 says if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. Ask whether he is a faithful believer in Jesus, whether he leads you toward purity or into temptation, and whether this courtship is moving toward a godly marriage. Sex before or outside marriage in any form, including lust and pornography, is fornication and must be turned from. If this young man is not walking with Christ, we urge you not to be unequally yoked as warned in 2 Corinthians 6:14.

We also hear the guilt and feeling undeserving when you go back to Jesus, and we want to gently correct how you see His grace. It is true we are all undeserving, for all have sinned, yet God in His mercy offers forgiveness through Jesus alone. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness in 1 John 1:9. There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus in Romans 8:1. Your guilt should lead you to repentance, not to hiding from Him. Do not let shame keep you from running to Him, for it is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God and it is only by His name we are saved as Acts 4:12 teaches, there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. When you fall, confess quickly, turn from the sin, and receive His cleansing rather than wallowing in condemnation.

For your desire to nurture your skills as a graphic designer and find work, we pray God will open the right door and that you will work heartily for Him. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men in Colossians 3:23. We encourage you to commit your plans to Him and trust Him to direct your paths as Proverbs 3:5-6 says, trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in the name of Jesus we lift up our sister to Your throne of grace. We ask You to forgive her for sexual immorality and to cleanse her through the blood of Jesus. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit and give her true power, love and self-control. Help her to flee from pornography and lust, to hate what You hate and to love purity, and to set her mind on what is pure and holy. Give her strength to remove every stumbling block and to walk in Galatians 5:16, walk by the Spirit, and you won’t fulfill the lust of the flesh. Grant her wisdom about this courtship, reveal whether this man is the godly husband You would have for her, and help her to pursue only a marriage that honors You. If this relationship is not of You, give her courage to step away. Heal her from shame and help her to believe that when she confesses she is fully forgiven and deeply loved. Guide her steps in her work and open the right job where she can use the gifts You have given her for Your glory. Teach her to trust You more each day. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to stay in the Word daily, to pray continually, to seek fellowship with godly women who will keep you accountable, and to keep coming back to Jesus quickly whenever you stumble. He is faithful and He will complete the good work He has begun in you.
 
We're really glad you reached out, and we hear how much you're carrying right now, the excitement and uncertainty of a first relationship, the pressure of looking for work as a graphic designer, and this painful cycle with porn and then feeling guilty and undeserving when you turn back to Jesus.

Thank you for being honest about that struggle. A lot of people find that watching porn becomes a way to cope when they feel anxious, lonely, or unsure, not just a matter of desire. It makes sense you would feel stuck in a loop, and it makes sense that shame would make you want to pull away from God right when you most need His help. He isn't surprised by where you are, and coming back to Him is exactly what He invites you to do.

One steady next step that helps many people is to not face this alone. Would you consider asking one trusted, mature Christian, a pastor, mentor, or counselor, to be a regular, safe person to talk with about both the porn struggle and the questions about your relationship? Along with that, putting simple guardrails in place can make self-control more doable, like using a filter or accountability software and keeping your phone and computer in open areas, especially late at night. For the job search, a small daily rhythm of work on your portfolio and applications can ease some of the uncertainty too.

Father, we bring our friend to You. Thank You that You welcome us when we return to You. Give them a clear and sound mind, growing self-control, wisdom for this relationship and for next steps in work, and freedom from shame. Help them experience Your grace day by day and walk in Your will. In Jesus' name, amen.
 
Your honest and humble confession has been heard, and we bring it before the Lord with care. You speak of uncertainty in this first relationship, of a struggle with lust and with watching that which defiles the soul, of desire to use your gift as a graphic designer for good, and of a guilt that makes you feel undeserving when you return to Jesus. In all this you have quoted well, for God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Know first that your sense of guilt is not to be brushed aside, for guilt is real before a holy God. If the supreme Ruler does not punish sin, He becomes Himself the patron of all guilt. Yet the gospel declares a blessed exchange. He who knew no sin was made sin for us. On that green hill outside the city wall there stands a tree and on it hangs the Glory of the universe put to shame by men, the everlasting Son of God bleeding and dying, the Just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God. He gave His back to the smiters and hid not His face from shame and spitting, and our shame is ended, for He has borne it. The whole life of Christ, all His preaching and fasting and travail, all His bloody sweat and scourging could not alone have saved, but His precious death has merit sufficient to put away all transgression. The blood of Jesus Christ, His Son, cleanses us from all sin. When the Son removes guilt, the Spirit removes guile. At the very same time that guilt is taken away and blessedness is bestowed, the forgiven soul undergoes a change of nature. This is your hope when you feel undeserving. You are undeserving, as are we all, and self abhorrence endears Christ to the heart as the great Savior of unworthy ones. Shame is a very desirable thing if it drives us to God, that we may seek His name and flee to Christ in humble penitence.

Concerning lust and that repeated watching of pornography, we must speak plainly and lovingly. This is not a small struggle to be managed but sin to be forsaken. Repeating outward forms of prayer without life and feeling should move us to self condemnation rather than self congratulation, for the Lord bids us rend our hearts and not our garments. The Christian sets Caution and Self examination at the helm and cries, Search me and know my heart. He is accustomed to examine his actions and his motives, to pass his words and his thoughts in review. You have written, they made me the keeper of the vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept. Take heed lest you neglect your own soul while tending other things. Flee this sin. Put away the provision for it, set guards before your eyes, seek godly and accountable fellowship, and walk in the light. God has not left you without power. The Spirit who convicts is the Spirit who gives power and love and a sound mind, which is self control, to say no to the flesh and yes to Christ.

Concerning this relationship, we do not ask God to bless impurity, for marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and both living together and all sexual intimacy belong within it alone. If this man is to be more than a passing companionship, let the relationship be proved in purity, in honesty, and in the fear of the Lord. Bring it into the light, keep it chaste, and seek wise counsel from mature believers who know you both. If it cannot be kept to the standard of Christ, it is better that it be surrendered than that your soul be ensnared. Pray not for God to affirm what is outside His will, but for wisdom to know whether this is a path that can lead with a clear conscience toward that holy covenant, or whether the Lord would have you step back and keep your heart with all diligence.

For your work, we pray that the Lord who gave you skill would also give you diligence and open doors. Be faithful in small things, nurture the gift He has entrusted to you, and do all as unto Him. He who is faithful in that which is least will be trusted with more.

We pray for you now. O Lord, look upon this soul who feels the weight of guilt and the pull of lust and the fear of the future. Wash away guilt by the blood of Thy Son, and by Thy Spirit take away guile and give a new nature. Grant power to flee youthful lusts, love that seeks purity, and a sound mind that chooses what is holy. Give self control where there has been indulgence, and give peace where there has been fear. Guide in the matter of this relationship, that all may be done in chastity and truth, and guide in the matter of work, that skill may be used for Thy glory and for good. Keep this one from self deception and from heedless disregard of warnings, and draw near as the Father who receives the returning sinner for Christ's sake. Amen.
 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

🙏Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
 
Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are carrying. It takes courage to name uncertainty in a new relationship, the struggle with lust and porn, the pressure of looking for work, and the guilt you feel when you turn back to Jesus. You are not alone in these struggles, and God sees both your desire to do what is right and the places where you feel weak.

That feeling of being undeserving when you come back to Jesus is something many believers know. The truth is that none of us comes to Him because we have earned it. Scripture says blessed are those whose sins are forgiven and covered, and that blessing comes not by our works but by grace through Jesus Christ alone. He receives you not because you are worthy in yourself, but because He is merciful and His forgiveness is real. Guilt can keep you at a distance, but godly sorrow is meant to bring you closer to Him. When we mourn our sin honestly, that sorrow itself helps form self control, because it turns our heart away from what harms us and toward what is good.

You mentioned 2 Timothy 1:7, and it is a true word for you. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self control. That self control is not something you must manufacture alone. It is fruit of His Spirit at work in you as you walk with Him. Self control is not proven when there is no temptation, but when temptation is present and you choose a different way. That means the struggle itself is the place where God can train you, day by day, to be steadier.

For the struggle with lust and porn, God calls us to turn away completely, because sex is His gift to be enjoyed only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Outside of that, it harms the soul and the mind, even while it promises pleasure. If you are watching porn over and over, take practical steps to make a new path. Bring this into the light with a mature, trusted Christian woman or pastor who can walk with you and hold you accountable, put clear filters and boundaries on your devices, avoid being alone in settings that tempt you, and replace the habit with prayer and Scripture when the urge comes. Do not pursue purity only to earn a reward or to prove you are good enough. Pursue it because you love God and want to love what He loves. Even when you fail, do not stay away. Confess quickly, receive His forgiveness, and keep walking.

For your relationship, it is wise to be honest about your uncertainty. A first relationship can bring many confusing feelings. Ask God for clear guidance about whether this relationship helps you both honor Him, especially in the area of purity. If you are together, set clear boundaries that keep you from sexual activity and from living together before marriage, and seek counsel from wise believers who know you both. Love that is real will protect purity and will not ask you to compromise what God says is good.

For your work as a graphic designer, it is good to want to nurture the skill God has given you. Ask Him to open the right door, to help you use your creativity with integrity, and to provide for you while you wait. Keep doing faithful work with what you have now, and ask Him to guide your steps.

I want to pray for you now.

Father, thank you for this one who is seeking you. Thank you that salvation is through Jesus alone and that your forgiveness is wide enough to cover all sin. I ask that you lift the weight of shame that keeps her from running to you, and help her to know she is blessed because she is forgiven. Fill her with your Spirit of power and love and self control. Give her strength to turn from porn and lust, to set healthy boundaries in her relationship, and to seek what is pure. Grant her wisdom to discern this relationship clearly and to honor you in it, whether that means growing in a way that is holy or stepping back if it does not lead toward your design for marriage. Provide guidance for her work, open a path to use her skills as a graphic designer for good, and give her peace as she trusts you. Teach her to love virtue itself because she loves you, not only for what she might gain. Keep her close to you each day. In Jesus name, amen.
 

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