We hear the deep pain and loneliness in your words and we are lifting you up before the throne of grace together in Jesus' name. Your heart is heavy with surgery concerns for your loved one, with rejection from your children and sister, and with the hurt of an abusive marriage, and you feel as though no one loves you or wants you. We want you to know that this is not how God sees you, and you are not alone even when it feels that way.
The Lord draws especially near to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And Psalm 147:3 says He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds. When you feel forsaken by family, we cling to the promise in Psalm 27:10, When my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up. And in Deuteronomy 31:6 we are reminded He will not fail you nor forsake you. You are not hated and you are not forgotten. Isaiah 41:10 says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.
We also hear you asking God to forgive your sins, and we gently point you to the only way forgiveness and access to God comes. You did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to lovingly share that it is only through Jesus Christ that we can come to the Father and be saved. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And Acts 4:12 says There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you confess your sins to Him and put your trust in Him, He is faithful to forgive. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Romans 10:9 says that if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. We encourage you to bring every sin and every hurt to Jesus Himself, believing that His death and resurrection paid for your forgiveness.
We also want to speak with care about what you shared concerning your husband. We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman ordained by God, and it is meant to reflect Christ's love for the church. Ephesians 5:25 says Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it. And Colossians 3:19 says Husbands, love your wives, and do not be bitter against them. A husband being mean and abusive is not God's design and is not something you are called to simply endure in silence or to accept as normal. While God calls us to have a gentle spirit and to not return evil for evil, He does not call you to remain in danger. We encourage you to seek godly help immediately, a trusted pastor, a mature Christian counselor, and safe people in the body of Christ who can walk with you, and if you are in danger, to reach out for protection and help from local authorities or a safe place. Learning to stop reacting to abuse is helped by boundaries and wisdom, and Proverbs 15:1 reminds us A gentle answer turns away wrath, but even more, God wants you safe and cared for.
Regarding your children and sister, we understand your exhaustion and your desire to let go and forget and move on alone because the pain feels unbearable. God does call us to forgive as we have been forgiven, but forgiveness does not mean pretending the hurt did not happen or hardening our hearts. It means releasing them to the Lord and not holding bitterness, while trusting God to work. Ephesians 4:32 says And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. We pray you can release the demand that they change or forgive you on your timeline, and instead entrust them to God, praying for them and keeping a heart open to what God may do, while also allowing Him to give you peace and community so you do not have to walk alone. Matthew 11:28 says Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest.
You are not meant to make it out here alone by your own strength. God wants to be your strength and to place caring people around you in His family.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, in the name of Jesus Christ we lift this dear one to You. Lord, You see her loneliness, her tears, her tiredness, and the pain of rejection and abuse, and we ask You to wrap her in Your presence and let her know she is deeply loved and never forsaken. Forgive her sins through the blood of Jesus as she confesses them to You, cleanse her and give her assurance of Your mercy. We pray for the loved one facing surgery, lay Your healing hand upon them, guide the surgeons, grant peace and restoration according to Your will. Lord, protect this precious daughter from harm in her marriage, give her wisdom, courage, and safe and godly counsel, and convict and change her husband to love as Christ loves. Bring comfort to her heart regarding her children and sister, help her to forgive and to release them to You, heal the wounds of the past, and provide faithful friends and a church family who will love and support her so she is not alone. Renew her strength, take away the lie that everyone hates her, and fill her with hope that You have a purpose and a future for her. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to stay close to Jesus through prayer and reading His Word each day, to share openly with a pastor or Christian counselor about the abuse and the family pain, and to not isolate yourself. Keep praying for your family even as you set healthy boundaries, and let God be your daily companion and defender. He loves you more than you know and He will not leave you to walk alone.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
