We lift up your wife and your marriage before the Lord, knowing that He is the God of all comfort and peace, the One who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Your situation is deeply painful, and we grieve with you over the distrust and emotional turmoil that has taken root in your home. Yet we also rejoice in your commitment to your wife and your marriage, even in the midst of such difficulty. Your willingness to be transparent, to serve her, and to seek God’s intervention speaks volumes about your love for her and your desire to honor the covenant you made before Him.
The wounds your wife carries from her past are real, and the enemy has used them to plant seeds of fear, bitterness, and accusation in her heart. The betrayal she experienced before your marriage has left deep scars, and though you have done nothing to deserve her distrust, her pain has distorted her perception of you. This is not just a battle against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces that seek to destroy what God has joined together. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us, *"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."* You are fighting a spiritual battle, and it must be fought with spiritual weapons—prayer, the Word of God, and the power of the Holy Spirit.
We must also address the fact that your prayer request did not invoke the name of Jesus. There is no other name under heaven by which we can approach the Father, and it is only through Christ that we have access to His throne of grace. Jesus Himself said in John 14:6, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me."* And in Acts 4:12, we are told, *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved."* If you have not already, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. It is through His name—and His name alone—that we find redemption, healing, and the power to overcome the brokenness of this world. If you are already a believer, we encourage you to boldly approach the throne of grace in His name, for He is your advocate before the Father.
Now, let us turn to Scripture for guidance. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Your wife’s struggle is rooted in a lack of trust—not just in you, but ultimately in God. Her past has taught her that trust leads to pain, and so she has built walls to protect herself. But those walls are now imprisoning her, and by extension, they are imprisoning your marriage. The only way forward is for her to surrender her pain to the Lord and allow Him to heal her. Similarly, you must continue to trust God even when her accusations sting. Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:23, *"When he was cursed, he didn’t curse back. When he suffered, he didn’t threaten, but committed himself to him who judges righteously."* Jesus understands your suffering, and He will vindicate you in His time.
We also want to encourage you to examine your own heart in this season. Have you allowed bitterness or resentment to take root because of her accusations? Are you serving her out of love, or out of a desire to prove yourself? Colossians 3:19 instructs husbands, *"Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them."* Bitterness will only fuel the fire of distrust. Instead, cling to the promise of 1 Corinthians 13:7, that *"love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."* Your love for her must be steadfast, even when hers wavers.
As for your wife, her healing will not come from your efforts alone—though your transparency and patience are commendable. True healing comes from the Lord. Psalm 147:3 declares, *"He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds."* She needs to encounter the love of Christ in a way that breaks through her fear. Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict her of the lies she has believed and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. Pray that she would experience the perfect love of Christ, which casts out all fear (1 John 4:18). Ask God to soften her heart and to help her see you through His eyes, not through the lens of her past.
We also urge you to consider whether she is receiving professional biblical counseling. The wounds she carries may require more than just your support—they may need the guidance of a wise, Spirit-filled counselor who can help her walk through her trauma in a godly way. If she is resistant, pray that God would open her heart to this possibility. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is victory."*
Finally, we want to address the fact that you are now avoiding female contact at work. While your intention is to protect your marriage, we must caution you against living in fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us, *"For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control."* You should absolutely maintain wise boundaries—never being alone with another woman, avoiding inappropriate conversations, and conducting yourself with integrity. But you should not have to live in isolation or fear. Pray for discernment in how to interact with others in a way that is above reproach (1 Thessalonians 5:22) while also not allowing the enemy to dictate your actions through fear.
Now, let us pray together for you and your wife:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this husband and wife to Your throne of grace. Lord, You see the pain and brokenness in their marriage, and You know the depth of the wounds that have been inflicted by past betrayals. We ask that You would move powerfully in their lives, bringing healing, restoration, and peace.
Father, we pray for this wife, whose heart has been so deeply hurt. Lord, she has built walls to protect herself, but those walls are now keeping out the very love and trust she needs. We ask that You would break through those walls with Your perfect love. Holy Spirit, convict her of the lies she has believed—the lies that her husband is like those who hurt her, the lies that she is unworthy of love, the lies that she must control everything to be safe. Replace those lies with Your truth, Lord. Remind her that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), that You have plans to prosper her and not to harm her (Jeremiah 29:11), and that perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).
Lord, we pray that she would encounter You in a way that transforms her heart. Soften her, Father. Help her to see her husband through Your eyes—to see his love, his faithfulness, and his commitment to her. Remove the spirit of accusation that has taken root in her mind, and replace it with a spirit of trust and gratitude.
We also lift up this husband, who has remained steadfast in his love and commitment despite the pain of false accusations. Lord, strengthen him. Guard his heart against bitterness, resentment, or despair. Fill him with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and remind him that You see his sacrifices and his love for his wife. Give him wisdom in how to lead her spiritually, how to love her well, and how to set godly boundaries that protect their marriage.
Father, we rebuked the spirit of distrust, fear, and division that has sought to destroy this marriage. We declare that no weapon formed against them shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we ask that You would restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Bring unity where there has been division, peace where there has been turmoil, and joy where there has been sorrow.
Lord, we ask that You would surround this couple with godly community—people who can speak life into them, pray for them, and walk alongside them in this season. If counseling is needed, open their hearts to seek it. If there are areas of sin or unrepentance in either of their lives, bring conviction and repentance.
Finally, Father, we pray that this marriage would be a testimony of Your redeeming power. Let it be a story of how You took what was broken and made it whole, how You turned ashes into beauty, and how You restored what was lost. May their home be filled with Your presence, and may their love for one another reflect the love of Christ for His church.
We ask all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
