We come before the Lord with heavy hearts, lifting this relationship up to Him, for He alone is the author of love, peace, and reconciliation. First, we must address something foundational: this request does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to the Father. The Bible is clear that there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved, and it is only through Jesus that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’* (John 14:6, WEB). *"There is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus"* (1 Timothy 2:5, WEB). So, we pray in the name of Jesus, for without Him, we can do nothing.
Now, let us speak truth in love. The struggles described here—control, ultimatums, jealousy, anger, emotional withdrawal, and comparisons to past relationships—are not aligned with the fruits of the Spirit, which are *"love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control"* (Galatians 5:22-23, WEB). These patterns are destructive and must be rebuked in the name of Jesus. *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32, WEB). The cycle of sin in this relationship must be broken, and that begins with repentance before God.
We also must address the nature of this relationship. You refer to this man as your "boyfriend," but the Bible does not recognize casual or unbiblical relationships. If this courtship is not moving toward a godly, covenantal marriage between a man and a woman, then it is not honoring to God. *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB). If there is any sexual immorality—whether physical or emotional—it must be repented of immediately. *"Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed is undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers"* (Hebrews 13:4, WEB). If this relationship is to honor God, it must be pursued with the intention of marriage, and both must be believers walking in obedience to Christ.
To the one who wrote this request: your admission of controlling behavior, jealousy, and fear is a start, but true change comes only through surrender to Jesus. *"Don’t you know that to whom you present yourselves as servants to obedience, his servants you are whom you obey; whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness?"* (Romans 6:16, WEB). You cannot manage anxiety or insecurity in your own strength—you must cast these burdens upon the Lord. *"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7, WEB). Your worth is found in Christ alone, not in this man or his approval. *"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may proclaim the excellence of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light"* (1 Peter 2:9, WEB). You must release this man to God’s will and trust that the Lord will guide your steps.
To the man in this relationship: anger, name-calling, and silent treatment are not of God. *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear"* (Ephesians 4:29, WEB). *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath"* (Ephesians 4:26, WEB). Your pain is valid, but your response must be godly. The Lord calls men to lead with love, sacrifice, and humility—just as Christ loved the church. *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it"* (Ephesians 5:25, WEB). If this relationship is to move forward, you must seek the Lord for healing from past wounds and ask Him to soften your heart.
For both of you: time apart can be used for reflection, but true reconciliation can only come through Christ. *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9, WEB). You must each examine your hearts before the Lord. Are you both walking in obedience to Him? Are you both seeking His will above your own desires? *"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). If this relationship is to honor God, it must be built on His Word, with Jesus as the foundation.
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this broken relationship. Lord, we ask for Your conviction, Your healing, and Your wisdom to flood their hearts. Father, we rebuke the spirits of jealousy, control, anger, and bitterness that have taken root. By the power of the Holy Spirit, break these chains and set them free. *"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be encumbered once more by a yoke of slavery"* (Galatians 5:1, WEB).
Lord, we pray for the woman who wrote this request. Father, her fear and insecurity are not from You. Fill her with Your perfect love, which casts out all fear. *"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear has punishment. He who fears is not made perfect in love"* (1 John 4:18, WEB). Give her the strength to surrender her anxiety to You and to trust in Your plan for her life. Help her to find her identity in You alone, Lord, and not in this man. Teach her to walk in self-control and to release him into Your hands.
Father, we pray for this man. Heal his heart from past wounds and the pain that has been caused in this relationship. Softening his heart, Lord, and replace his anger with Your peace. *"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger"* (Proverbs 15:1, WEB). Teach him to communicate with kindness and patience. Convict him of any ungodly responses and lead him to repentance. Raise him up as a man after Your own heart, Lord, one who seeks to honor You in all things.
Lord, if it is Your will, we ask that You restore this relationship on a foundation of trust, respect, and godly love. But Father, more than anything, we ask that Your will be done. If this relationship is not aligned with Your purposes, give them the strength to walk away in obedience to You. *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust also in him, and he will do this"* (Psalm 37:4-5, WEB).
Father, we pray that if marriage is Your plan for them, You would make it abundantly clear. Prepare them both to be godly spouses, rooted in Your Word and walking in Your ways. *"Unless the Lord builds the house, they who build it labor in vain"* (Psalm 127:1, WEB). Let them seek You first, above all else.
Lord, we ask for Your protection over their hearts and minds during this time apart. Guard them from temptation, from bitterness, and from the enemy’s lies. Draw them both closer to You, Father, and let this season be one of growth and surrender.
We declare Your peace over this situation, Lord. *"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, I give to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful"* (John 14:27, WEB). Let Your will be done, in Jesus’ mighty name. Amen.
Finally, we urge both of you to seek the Lord individually. Spend time in His Word, in prayer, and in fellowship with believers who can speak truth into your lives. If there is unrepentant sin—whether it be sexual immorality, anger, control, or bitterness—it must be confessed and turned from. *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy"* (Proverbs 28:13, WEB).
If you are not already walking closely with the Lord, we implore you to surrender your life to Jesus Christ. *"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved"* (Romans 10:9, WEB). There is no true healing or reconciliation apart from Him. Seek Him first, and all else will follow as He wills. May the Lord bless you and keep you as you seek His face.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
