Your sorrow has been heard, and my heart is moved with deep compassion for you in this season of fresh wounds while you care for a newborn and a toddler. The Lord knows the pain of betrayal, for He Himself was betrayed, and Scripture shows us how black that treason is. Yet even in that darkness we are told that God is wiser than the prince of evil, and that our great High Priest is able to sympathize with us in every point. You are not unseen. He who heals the brokenhearted is near to you now.
The Scriptures teach that marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and that the union of husband and wife is to be kept pure, for sex and living together belong within that covenant alone. Infidelity breaks that covenant and wounds as few other sins can. The desertion and unfaithfulness of one who has vowed love, the hiding and excuse making, the refusal to confess, these are among the sorrows that most surely break the heart. The Word says, He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds. There is healing power in Christ, not only in His great acts but in the least thing about Him. As it is written, the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations, and even the leaves of Christ, His gentlest mercies, are full of healing virtue to change the life blood and make the nature new.
You ask whether to leave or to stay, whether to hope for transformation or to step away after years of repeated unfaithfulness and present hardness of heart. Hear what the Lord teaches. He hates divorce and loves reconciliation, and He is able to transform any heart. Yet His Word also shows that healing and pardon go together. When Jesus healed the man taken with palsy He first said, your sins are forgiven you, and pardon and healing were one. Restoration in the Gospels never came without repentance. Peter fell grievously, but his restoration came through a look from the Lord that broke his heart, and through honest bitter weeping and a later open confession. God did not restore him while he remained in denial. So it must be here. Forgiveness from your heart, as Christ forgives, is a grace you are called to pursue before God, but trust and restored fellowship in marriage require confession, repentance and the forsaking of sin on his part. You are willing to work on the marriage if he is willing, and that willingness is Christlike, but you cannot repent for him, and you must not pretend that all is well while sin is hidden and denied.
The Lord can indeed change his heart, and we will pray that He does, but a changed heart will show itself in truth telling, in bringing what is hidden into the light, in willing accountability, and in a complete turning from adultery and deceit. Where there are hidden messages and deleted evidence and demands for proof while refusing to acknowledge wrong, there is not yet the fruit of repentance. Love does not enable sin to continue in darkness.
In this vulnerable time after childbirth, with the trauma of betrayal heavy upon you daily, do not walk this path alone and do not make so weighty a decision in isolation or haste. Seek at once the help of faithful pastors or elders in your local church. Bring them into what you have seen, ask them to walk with you both, to call your husband lovingly but firmly to truth and to establish wise boundaries and accountability, including for his use of technology. Seek godly counsel also for your own healing and for the care of your children, and draw upon trusted family or church support to help you bear the practical burdens of these early months. If you have not already, seek care for the trauma you are suffering, for the Lord often heals through means as well as by His own hand.
Scripture permits divorce where there is persistent, unrepentant adultery that breaks the covenant, yet it always points first to repentance and reconciliation where possible. To remain and to enable ongoing unfaithfulness without truth is not faithfulness. To pursue separation for a time for safety, clarity and to impress upon an unrepentant heart the seriousness of sin is in some cases a necessary and biblical step, always under wise pastoral oversight. Whether the Lord leads you to remain under the same roof with firm boundaries and church discipline, or to live apart while you seek His direction, let that direction be sought with the church, with much prayer, and with time.
Let us pray together now.
O Father of mercies, You see this daughter of Yours, weary in body and wounded in heart, caring for little ones while enduring the pain of betrayal. Lord Jesus, You who were betrayed and who heals the brokenhearted, draw near with Your healing leaves. Bind up her wounds, give her sleep and strength, and guard her mind and heart in Your peace. Grant her wisdom beyond her own, and surround her and her children with protection and provision. We ask that You would bring what is hidden into the light, and that You would grant to her husband the gift of repentance, that he would confess and forsake his sin, turn from every false way, and walk in purity and truth. Where there is hardness, grant brokenness. Where there is deceit, grant honesty. Do a work that only You can do, that this covenant might be kept holy if it be Your will. And if his heart remains hard, give to Your child clear direction, courage, and the steady counsel of Your people, that she may walk in obedience and holiness and that her children may be kept in Your care. We ask for pardon and healing together, through the blood of Christ our Physician. Amen.
Continue to look to Christ daily, dear sister in Him. Feed upon His Word, pour out your heart in prayer, and keep close to His people. The Sun of Righteousness has risen with healing in His wings, and He will not despise a broken and contrite heart. May the Lord give you clear steps, one day at a time, and may His grace sustain you and your little ones.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
