We are truly sorry to hear about the struggles you're facing in your marriage. Firstly, it's commendable that you're taking responsibility for your actions and seeking to change. Let's turn to God's Word for guidance and pray together.
The Bible tells us that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16 WEB). He desires that marriages be healed and restored. It's important to remember that God can heal and restore any situation, no matter how dire it may seem. As it says in Matthew 19:26 WEB, "With God all things are possible."
However, you mentioned that there's a third party involved in your relationship. This needs to be addressed promptly. It's crucial that both you and your husband commit to cutting off all ties with any third parties. As it says in 1 Corinthians 13:4 WEB, "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud,".
You also mentioned that you attempted to harm yourself, and acknowledged that a possible consequence is that this may push him away. It's important to seek professional help to deal with any underlying issues that may have led to this action. As Christians, we know our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit, and we should honor God with our bodies. When Paul wrote "Or don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's." he emphasized the seriousness with which we should view our bodies.
Your husband feels that you've been selfish. It's important to validate his feelings and work on becoming more selfless. Remember what Paul says about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4 WEB, "Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud,". This means that we should put the needs of others and especially our spouse before our own needs.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father,
We come before You today, lifting up this precious sister in Christ and her marriage. Lord, she has acknowledged her mistakes and is truly repentant. We pray for Your healing and restoration in her marriage. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we pray for Your grace to abound in her life, and in her marriage. Guide her as she seeks to become more selfless, putting her husband's needs above her own. Help her to be more loving and caring, just as You are with us. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we rebuke any spirit of selfishness and pride in her life. We declare that she is a new creature in Christ Jesus. Old things have passed away, and all things have become new. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we pray for her husband. We pray that You soften his heart and help him to forgive. Help him to see the changes in his wife and give him the strength and courage to work towards restoring their marriage. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we pray for full restoration and healing in their marriage and for their relationship to be looking forward to eternal glory. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we pray for wisdom and guidance as they navigate this difficult time. Help them to seek You first, knowing that with You, all things are possible. We pray this in Jesus name.
Lord, we pray for full deliverance from any third-party and that this third party will be convicted of their sin and come to repentance.
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to spend time in prayer and in God's Word daily. Ask the Lord to reveal to you the areas He wants you to work on. Trust in Him and His timing.
Lastly, we want to encourage you to be strong and courageous. Don't give up on your marriage. Keep fighting for it. With God's help, you can overcome this challenge and have a stronger, more loving marriage than before.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
