We hear your heart’s cry and stand with you in prayer, lifting this heavy burden before the Lord. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God, a reflection of Christ’s love for His church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and it should never be entered into under compulsion or without peace. The weight of your parents’ expectations and your own desires has left you in a place of confusion, but we know that God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). His will is perfect, and He desires to lead you into it with clarity and grace.
First, we must address the foundation of your decision. You mentioned that the young man you love is "in God," which we take to mean he is a believer in Jesus Christ. If this is true, then your relationship is not merely an emotional attachment but one that could honor the Lord if it aligns with His will. Scripture is clear that believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), so if this young man is truly in Christ, that is a significant point in favor of your relationship. However, we must also ask: Is he a man of godly character, committed to leading a wife in the ways of the Lord? Does he share your faith not just in word but in deed? These are critical questions to prayerfully consider.
Your parents’ desire to arrange a marriage for you comes from a place of care, but we must gently rebuke any attempt to force you into a union that does not align with God’s will. Forced marriages are not biblical, and obedience to parents (Ephesians 6:1-3) must always be submitted to obedience to God first (Acts 5:29). If their choice for you is not a believer or a man of godly character, then entering into that marriage would be disobedience to Scripture. We do not say this to condemn but to bring clarity, for the Lord’s heart is for your protection and flourishing.
We also want to encourage you to seek wisdom beyond your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* This is not a time to rely solely on your feelings or the pressures around you but to seek the Lord in fasting, prayer, and counsel from mature believers. Have you spoken with your pastor or a trusted spiritual mentor about this? Their guidance, combined with the leading of the Holy Spirit, can help you discern God’s will.
If the young man you love is indeed a believer and a man of godly character, then we encourage you to prayerfully consider whether this is a relationship the Lord is blessing. Courtship should always have marriage as its goal, and if that is the case here, then it is not wrong to pursue it—even if it means respectfully standing against your parents’ wishes. However, this must be done with humility, patience, and a heart that seeks to honor them even in disagreement. Remember, *"A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord"* (1 Corinthians 7:39). Marriage is a lifelong covenant, and it must be entered into with reverence for God’s design.
We must also address the reality of your emotions. It is natural to feel deeply for someone you love, but emotions can be deceiving. Jeremiah 17:9 warns, *"The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt: who can know it?"* This does not mean your feelings are invalid, but it does mean they must be submitted to the Lord’s truth. Ask Him to purify your heart and align your desires with His. If this young man is not the one God has for you, then trust that the Lord has someone even better prepared for you—a spouse who will love you as Christ loves the church.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our sister who is seeking Your will in her life. Lord, You see the confusion in her heart, the pressure from her parents, and the love she feels for this young man. We ask that You would give her clarity and peace that surpasses all understanding. Remove the fear and uncertainty, and replace it with the confidence that comes from knowing You are in control.
Father, we pray for wisdom for her. Show her whether this young man is the one You have prepared for her. If he is, give her the courage to stand firm in Your will, even if it means respectfully disagreeing with her parents. Soften their hearts, Lord, and help them to see Your hand in this situation. If this young man is not Your will for her, then we ask that You would remove her feelings for him and replace them with a deep trust in Your plan. Prepare her heart for the spouse You have chosen for her, and let her wait on You with patience and hope.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, confusion, or rebellion in this situation. We declare that Your will shall be done, and that Your peace will guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. Help her to honor her parents while still obeying You, and give her the words to speak to them with grace and truth.
Lord, we also pray for the young man in this situation. If he is the one You have for her, then draw them both closer to You and to each other in a way that honors You. If he is not, then we ask that You would redirect his path and hers, leading them both to the spouses You have prepared.
We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the only name by which we can come to You. It is through His blood that we have access to Your throne, and it is by His authority that we pray. Thank You, Lord, for hearing our prayer and for working all things together for good for those who love You. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to spend time in God’s Word, particularly in the Psalms, where you will find comfort and guidance. Psalm 32:8 says, *"I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go. I will counsel you with my eye on you."* The Lord is your Shepherd, and He will lead you if you will listen. Surround yourself with believers who can pray with you and offer godly counsel. And remember, no matter what decision you make, the Lord is with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
If you have not already, we also urge you to surrender this situation fully to the Lord. Lay your desires, your fears, and your confusion at His feet, and trust that He will direct your steps. Proverbs 16:9 says, *"A man’s heart plans his course, but Yahweh directs his steps."* You may not see the full picture now, but the Lord does, and He is working even in this moment.
Lastly, we want to gently remind you that salvation is found in no one else but Jesus Christ. If you have not already, we encourage you to place your faith in Him as your Lord and Savior. Acts 4:12 says, *"There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* If you have questions about what it means to follow Jesus, we would be honored to share more with you. Your eternal relationship with Him is the foundation for every other decision in your life.
We stand with you in faith, believing that the Lord will make His will clear to you in His perfect timing. May He bless you with His peace and guide you into the path He has prepared for you.
