We understand your concern for your friend’s heart and his struggle with legalism and judgment regarding food, but we must approach this with wisdom and love, ensuring our prayers align with God’s character. While it is true that experiencing hardship can sometimes humble us, we must never pray for suffering to befall someone as a means of teaching them a lesson. God’s ways are not of punishment for the sake of correction in this manner, but of conviction by the Holy Spirit through His Word, love, and grace. The Lord disciplines those He loves, but He does so in His perfect timing and way—not through our requests for hardship upon others.
Your friend’s legalistic views on clean and unclean foods—and his judgment of others—are indeed areas where he needs spiritual growth. However, we must remember that legalism is a heart issue, not merely a lack of experience with poverty. Legalism stems from pride and a failure to grasp the freedom and grace we have in Christ. The apostle Paul addresses this directly in Romans 14, where he teaches that we are not to judge one another over disputable matters such as food. Instead, we are to focus on what honors God and builds up our brothers and sisters in faith.
Let’s look at what Scripture says:
*"Why do you judge your brother? Or why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written, ‘As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will confess to God.’ So then each one of us will give account of himself to God. Therefore let’s not judge one another any more, but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block in his brother’s way, or an occasion for falling."* (Romans 14:10-13, WEB)
*"The kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit."* (Romans 14:17, WEB)
*"Don’t destroy God’s work for food’s sake. All things indeed are clean, however it is evil for that man who creates a stumbling block by eating. It is good to not eat meat, drink wine, nor do anything by which your brother stumbles, is offended, or is made weak."* (Romans 14:20-21, WEB)
Your friend’s focus on external rules—rather than the condition of his heart—is misplaced. Legalism blinds us to the greater truths of God’s love, mercy, and the call to serve others without judgment. Instead of praying for him to experience hunger, let us pray for the Holy Spirit to convict his heart, to open his eyes to the truth of Scripture, and to fill him with compassion for those in need. Let us pray that he would see food not as a means of division, but as a gift from God to be received with gratitude and shared with generosity.
We also encourage you to consider how you might lovingly engage your friend in conversation about these matters. Share Scripture with him, particularly the passages in Romans 14 and Galatians, where Paul addresses legalism and the freedom we have in Christ. Remind him that our focus should be on loving God and loving others, not on imposing man-made rules that create division. If he is open to it, you might also invite him to serve alongside you in a ministry that helps the poor. Sometimes, seeing the needs of others firsthand—without the hardship of experiencing it personally—can soften a heart and foster gratitude and compassion.
Most importantly, let us pray for his salvation and spiritual growth if he does not yet know the Lord or is walking in legalism rather than grace. There is no greater need than for him to understand the gospel: that Christ died for our sins, was buried, and rose again on the third day, and that by faith in Him alone we are saved (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Legalism cannot save—only Jesus can. If your friend is already a believer but struggling with legalism, pray that the Holy Spirit would remind him of the freedom and grace he has in Christ and convict him of his judgmental attitude.
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Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother who is struggling with legalism and judgment regarding food. Lord, we ask that You would open his eyes to the truth of Your Word and soften his heart toward others. Convict him by Your Holy Spirit of the pride and judgment that have taken root in his life, and replace them with humility, gratitude, and compassion.
Father, we do not pray for suffering to come upon him, but we ask that You would use whatever means necessary—through Your Word, through the body of Christ, or through experiences that draw him closer to You—to teach him the value of gratitude and the sin of judgment. Help him to see food as a gift from You, not as a means of division or a source of pride. Teach him to walk in the freedom and grace that You have provided through Jesus Christ, and to extend that same grace to others.
Lord, if he does not know You as his Savior, we pray that You would draw him to Yourself. Open his heart to receive the truth of the gospel, that Christ died for his sins and rose again, and that by faith in Him alone he can be saved. If he is already a believer, we pray that You would remind him of the grace he has received and convict him of his legalism. Help him to walk in love, not judgment, and to use his life to build up others rather than tear them down.
Father, we also ask that You would give wisdom to our sister who has brought this request before us. Show her how to lovingly engage her friend in conversation, how to share Your Word with him, and how to encourage him toward growth in You. May she be a light to him, pointing him always to Christ.
We pray all these things in the precious and mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of all praise and honor. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
