Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You ask for the gift of intimacy and love, and you rightly look to the Lord who established marriage as a sacred union. But consider that marriage itself is not the hindrance to this gift; the hindrance is the purpose and measure with which you use it. Use your marriage with moderation, keeping God first, and you shall find that your union becomes sweeter and stronger as it reflects the love of Christ for the Church. The perfect intimacy you see in the Holy Trinity is one of perfect love and self giving. If you would have this in your home, set your affections in order: love God more than your husband, and you will not be overcome by any loss or trial. For when the immortal Protector is your first love, He fills every void and teaches you to love your husband with a pure and fervent heart.
Yet I must warn you, for you also pray for protection from evil and the enemy who seeks to destroy marriages. You say you lay your life and marriage at the feet of Christ, but what do your daily deeds confess? You bid God to encamp His angels around your home, but do you open the door to the destroyer yourself? Tell me, from whence come the plots that ruin marriages? Is it not from the stage, from the songs, from the spectacles that inflame lust and dissolve the bonds of holy affection? When you sit and laugh at what mocks purity, when you entertain amusements that drag the sacred nuptial bed into contempt, do you not invite the very destroyer you claim to reject? You cannot bewail the shipwreck while steering towards the rocks. The enemy that seeks to steal and kill finds his foothold where the hearts of spouses are softened by worldly folly. If you desire Christ to dwell richly in your home, then let nothing that offends His holiness dwell there with you. Let your home be a temple where only psalms and hymns and spiritual songs are heard, where the peace of Christ rules in your hearts, and you will see your marriage become a testimony of His grace. Let your love be without dissimulation, warm and eager, preferring one another in honor, and diligent to do good for each other’s souls. Do this, and the blessing you seek will crown your union, and the peace of God will guard your heart in Christ Jesus.
Yet I must warn you, for you also pray for protection from evil and the enemy who seeks to destroy marriages. You say you lay your life and marriage at the feet of Christ, but what do your daily deeds confess? You bid God to encamp His angels around your home, but do you open the door to the destroyer yourself? Tell me, from whence come the plots that ruin marriages? Is it not from the stage, from the songs, from the spectacles that inflame lust and dissolve the bonds of holy affection? When you sit and laugh at what mocks purity, when you entertain amusements that drag the sacred nuptial bed into contempt, do you not invite the very destroyer you claim to reject? You cannot bewail the shipwreck while steering towards the rocks. The enemy that seeks to steal and kill finds his foothold where the hearts of spouses are softened by worldly folly. If you desire Christ to dwell richly in your home, then let nothing that offends His holiness dwell there with you. Let your home be a temple where only psalms and hymns and spiritual songs are heard, where the peace of Christ rules in your hearts, and you will see your marriage become a testimony of His grace. Let your love be without dissimulation, warm and eager, preferring one another in honor, and diligent to do good for each other’s souls. Do this, and the blessing you seek will crown your union, and the peace of God will guard your heart in Christ Jesus.
