LifeisGolden
Prayer Warrior
My fiance called off our wedding following his mom's sudden death about 4 months ago. I was left with a designer dress, out $25k and had to find a new home. In the process my rental unit flooded and my contractor ran off with my money. My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer (same as his mom) about a month after all this. She is not doing well and ultimately my first priority, but the obstacles this year have been tough. I lived in hotels for months until my home was fixed, I lost 30 lbs without even knowing it and started seeing counselors to help heal my heart. My ex fiance at first blocked me from social media sites, which is fine (immature, but fine) and has now unblocked me. He has reached out to me to ask about my sister and my family has reached out to his on his mother's would be birthday (via sending flowers to her gravesite). It was a way of waving the white flag if you will. We both stopped going to church and feel it was the reason for the demise of our relationship and marriage. We both felt guilty because we had to terminate a pregnancy due to serious medical issues of mine that I could not carry. PLEASE I have prayed, beated myself up enough over that and don't want to be judged for that, I just want prayer for my sister's health and strength. She is only 38 years old and has a daughter. I am 36 years old and my ex fiance is 32 years old. My ex fiance has reached out to ask how I am, send me thank you text messages for the flowers to his moms grave, and most recently sent me pictures of him and his nieces and nephews saying that they still ask about me (you would think they would tell the kids the truth, but I know that is hard when they are little). I need prayer, because after I took 4 months to heal from this, I feel like he just ripped the scab off my wound and I am AGAIN struggling with thoughts and wanting more communication and friendship than I think he wants to give. I feel it may be just taking a pulse with me to reach out and see how I am, but nonetheless it is not healthy I guess because I want more and he always ends the text messages by not responding fully or just being very short. He is very hot and cold. I thanked him for the lesson and blessings of all that happened and said at the end of our text yesterday that I had no expectations, but hope one day he will see the change in me (in person) if we meet up as friends. He responded: "maybe one day". I then said "I will pray (for that)". I know it was very deep saying that, but life is short and I meant it. I felt like perhaps I was too deep and just sent a casual message saying: Congrats, that his football team looked great this year (bc the game was going on). No response in 24 hours. Sad, because I find myself feeling sad over a petty text message response. It's very selfish of me to focus on thsi and not my sister on this platform, but I was to marry this man and was approved to carry a child to full term and was supposed to do that this month. The number he reaches out to me (every 3 wks or so) on is my company phone. I love him terribly. Can you please pray for whatever you think it is that we need? God knows my heart and that I want his love and my ex fiances love, but I know it is in his timing. I feel that my ex fiance is dating somewhat and comes back to me every so often to see if I am there. I need help to move on or be patient for his love again. Help me.
