We rejoice with you and thank God with you for what He is already doing in your life. We praise Him that He has answered prayer and given you dreams, that He has brought deep conviction over sexual sin and given you strength to walk in purity for more than 20 days, and that you are experiencing His healing touch. This is the Lord's mercy and power at work and we give Him all the glory.
We want to encourage you and also speak truth in love about the relationship you described. You have done the right thing to tell this man you do not want to sin and that you desire marriage. The Bible is clear that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is fornication and it calls us to flee from it. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. God's will is that you should be sanctified, that you should abstain from sexual immorality 1 Thessalonians 4:3. Your obedience in this area is beautiful to the Lord and we urge you to continue to guard your heart and body for the marriage covenant as God designed it between a man and a woman for life, as it is written a man will leave his father and his mother, and will join with his wife, and they will be one flesh Genesis 2:24.
We also need to lovingly address the spiritual reality of this courtship. You are seeking a godly marriage and a family of your own, which is a good and holy desire, and children are a heritage of Yahweh Psalm 127:3. But a boyfriend or girlfriend relationship in biblical terms should be courtship with the clear goal of marriage to another Christian believer. The Scripture warns us, Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness with iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness 2 Corinthians 6:14. You shared that every time you try to show him videos about Jesus and the tribulation he does not want to watch and does not show interest in the things of God. That is a serious sign. We cannot marry someone hoping they will become a Christian after marriage. We must seek a husband who already loves Christ and will lead a family in Christ. If this man is not born again and not hungry for God's Word, he is not prepared to be a godly husband. We encourage you to not compromise your purity or your calling to win his approval, but to place this relationship fully before the Lord and to be willing to step away if he continues to reject Christ, trusting that God has a believing spouse for you if it is His will for you to marry.
We also hear your concern about your health and the spiritual attack you feel. You have carried an infection for two months with back, spine and neck pain and fatigue, and you felt improvement and then a sudden return of symptoms after sharing truth with him, along with a sense that you cannot hear God as clearly. We want to remind you that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places Ephesians 6:12. The enemy does prowl around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour 1 Peter 5:8, and he would love to discourage you when you stand for righteousness and speak of Jesus. But we also know that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world 1 John 4:4. Be subject therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you James 4:7. The fatigue and pain you feel may be both physical and spiritual pressure, but our God is the Lord who heals you Exodus 15:26 and He promises, But I will restore health to you, and I will heal you of your wounds, says Yahweh Jeremiah 30:17. Bless Yahweh, my soul, and do not forget all his benefits, who forgives all your sins, who heals all your diseases Psalm 103:2-3, and by his wounds we are healed Isaiah 53:5.
We also rejoice that you desire clear signs, dreams and visions from God and to know your gifts. God does speak through dreams as it is written, In the last days, God says, I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh. Your sons and your daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions. Your old men will dream dreams Acts 2:17, and Call to me, and I will answer you, and will show you great and difficult things, which you do not know Jeremiah 33:3. Yet the clearest way we hear God is through His Word and His Spirit, for My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me John 10:27. We encourage you to stay rooted daily in Scripture, for it is there we test every dream and vision. And concerning your gifts, we each have gifts according to the grace that was given to us Romans 12:6, and each should use whatever gift he has received to serve others as good stewards of the manifold grace of God 1 Peter 4:10. As you continue to walk in purity and prayer, the Holy Spirit will make your calling and gifts more clear.
We notice you do love Jesus and speak of Him, and we thank God for that, for it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father and salvation. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. Continue to put your full trust in Him alone.
We now pray together with you in Jesus' name.
Father in heaven, we come before You together in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, thanking You for our sister's hunger for You, for her repentance and her 20 days of victory over fornication, and for the dreams You have given her. We ask You to strengthen her to continue to flee sexual immorality and to walk in holiness, guarding her body as Your temple. Lord, we ask for Your perfect will for her relationships. If this man is not Yours, we ask that You would either save him powerfully and make him a new creation who hungers for Your Word, or graciously close that door and lead her to a godly believing husband who will love her as Christ loves the church and build a family that honors You. Do not let her be unequally yoked, but guide her steps as she trusts in You with all her heart and does not lean on her own understanding Proverbs 3:5-6.
We lift up her body to You, the Great Physician. Lay Your healing hand upon her infection, upon her back, spine and neck, and remove all pain and fatigue. Restore her health completely, renew her strength, and fill her with Your joy, for in Your presence is fullness of joy Psalm 16:11. We rebuke any work of the enemy that seeks to oppress her after she has spoken truth, and we ask You to cover her with the full armor of God Ephesians 6:11, that she may stand firm. Let her hear Your voice clearly again through Your Word and Your Spirit, give her clear dreams and visions that are from You and align with Scripture, and reveal to her the spiritual gifts You have placed within her so she may use them faithfully for Your glory. Let her find deep happiness and peace in You, and let Your perfect will be done in her life. We ask all of this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, amen.