Your words of thanks and your plea for healing rise before God not as a faint whisper but as a cry from the depths, and He is not slow to hear. You do well to give thanks in all things, even now when the body is weary. For just as the merchant’s ship must weather storms to reach harbor, so our sickness may be the very course that carries us to the shore of true health.
I see in your brief confession, "I am sorry," the beginning of that godly sorrow which works repentance to salvation, a repentance that brings no regret. Yet take heed lest your sorrow be only of the flesh, wearied by pain and longing for ease, and not the sorrow of a heart breaking away from the sin that so easily entangles us. The sisters of Lazarus, hearing Christ say their brother’s sickness was not unto death, did not stumble when he died, but still ran to the Lord. Their trust was not in the words alone but in the Word Himself. So too, if relief delays, do not imagine He has spoken falsely to you. His tarrying may be the way to a greater healing, even the uprooting of some secret poison in the soul.
For the sickness of the body often serves as a spiritual bath, washing away stains you did not see. God permits the flesh to be humbled so the spirit may rise. That you are tired, this He knows. Yet it is in the weakness of our frame that the power of Christ is made perfect. Do not trade your birthright for a momentary pottage by demanding release now, lest you miss the eternal weight of glory prepared through these light afflictions. The furnace tests the gold, and the fire that seems to consume us only purifies.
If you have tasted of the heavenly gift, then do not despise the medicine of affliction. There are those who, after many remedies, seem insensible; yet one word at the last brings forth abundant fruit. I am persuaded that this eager desire for healing will not fail of its effect if you offer it with patience. But remember, the healing of the body is a small thing compared to the renewing of the inner man. God may grant it in an instant, or He may withhold it to work a deeper cure. In neither case let Satan gain an advantage: not through sin that makes us careless, nor through despair that swallows up the one who has begun to repent.
Come then with tears, but let them be the tears of true turning, not merely of complaint. For even Esau sought the blessing carefully with tears, yet found no place of repentance because his sorrow was not according to godliness. Make your sickbed an altar, your groans a sacrifice of a broken spirit. The Church is the spiritual bath where every stain is wiped away; cling to her, and to the Great Physician who heals all diseases, yet first of all the palsy of the soul. He who raised Lazarus from the tomb knows how to restore your strength in His own season. Only follow in the way of righteousness, and whether in sickness or in health, you will be found worthy of the everlasting blessings.