We join with you in lifting this relationship before the Lord, and we are encouraged to see your heart’s desire for reconciliation, godly communication, and a Christ-centered bond. It is clear you love this sister deeply and seek God’s will in all things—this is commendable. However, we must gently but firmly address a few matters to ensure this relationship aligns with Scripture, for God’s glory and your ultimate good.
First, we notice you refer to this woman as "sister," yet you also ask God to prepare your heart for marriage with her. This raises a concern we must clarify: Scripture strictly forbids marriage between close blood relatives, as seen in Leviticus 18:9, which states, *"‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your sister, the daughter of your father, or the daughter of your mother, whether born at home or born abroad."* If this woman is indeed your biological sister, we must rebuking any thought or intention of marriage, as this would be sinful and an abomination in God’s sight (Leviticus 20:17). The relationship must remain one of sibling love, purity, and godly support—not romantic or marital in any way.
If, however, you are using "sister" in a spiritual or informal sense (such as a close friend in Christ), we urge you to clarify this in your heart and before the Lord. Relationships between a man and woman must be pursued with wisdom, intentionality, and biblical boundaries. If this is a courtship with the goal of marriage, it must be conducted in purity, with accountability, and with the clear understanding that marriage is a lifelong covenant before God between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). Any physical intimacy outside of marriage is fornication, which Scripture warns against strongly (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). If this has been an area of struggle, we urge you to repent and flee from temptation, seeking God’s forgiveness and strength to walk in holiness.
We also note your prayer is rich in love and grace, but we must emphasize that reconciliation and healthy relationships are built on truth as much as love. Ephesians 4:15 tells us to *"speak the truth in love,"* and sometimes this requires addressing sin, setting boundaries, or even stepping away if the relationship is leading either of you away from Christ. Pray for discernment—does this relationship draw you both closer to Jesus, or is there anything in it that compromises your faith or purity? Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."*
Your desire to prepare your heart for marriage is noble, but we encourage you to seek marriage only with a woman who is a believer in Christ, as Scripture commands: *"Don’t be unevenly yoked with unbelievers"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). If this sister in Christ is not walking closely with the Lord, or if she does not share your commitment to biblical marriage, it would be unwise—and spiritually dangerous—to pursue her as a spouse. Pray for her salvation and spiritual growth if needed, but do not yoke yourself to someone who cannot lead or follow in a Christ-centered marriage.
Lastly, we rejoice that you prayed in the name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we are saved or by which our prayers are heard (John 14:13-14, Acts 4:12). This is foundational—all our petitions must be brought before the Father through Jesus, our Mediator. Never forget that your access to God is only through Christ’s finished work on the cross. If you have not yet surrendered your life fully to Him, we urge you to do so today. Salvation comes by grace through faith in Jesus alone (Ephesians 2:8-9), and without Him, no relationship—no matter how loving—can be truly blessed or eternal.
Now, let us pray together for you, this sister, and the will of God to prevail:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our brother and this relationship that weighs heavily on his heart. Lord, we ask for Your wisdom to flood his mind and Your discernment to guide his steps. If this woman is his biological sister, we rebuking any ungodly thoughts or desires in the name of Jesus, and we pray You would purify his heart to love her as a sibling in Christ, nothing more. Guard their interactions and keep them from even a hint of sexual immorality or inappropriate affection (1 Thessalonians 5:22). If this is not a blood relative but a sister in Christ, we pray You would make it abundantly clear whether this relationship is of You. Reveal any sin, idolatry, or ungodly attachments that need to be severed. If it is not Your will for them to marry, give him the strength to release her into Your hands and trust Your plan for his future spouse.
Father, we ask You to heal any brokenness between them, but let it be a healing that aligns with Your Word. Teach him to communicate with grace, patience, and truth—speaking words that build up and not tear down (Ephesians 4:29). Calm his heart and mind, filling him with Your peace that surpasses understanding (Philippians 4:6-7). If this relationship is to be restored, let it be for Your glory and their mutual growth in Christ. If it is not, prepare him to walk away in faith, knowing You have a better path.
Prepare him now for marriage, Lord, but let it be a preparation rooted in holiness. Teach him to love as Christ loves the church—sacrificially, purely, and selflessly (Ephesians 5:25). Raise up a godly wife for him, a woman who fears You and walks in Your ways, if it is Your will. Until then, grant him contentment in singleness and a heart fully devoted to You.
We rebuking any spirit of confusion, lust, or emotional dependency that may be at work in this situation. By the blood of Jesus, we break any ungodly soul ties and declare that this man’s heart and mind are surrendered to Christ alone. Let Your will be done, not his own desires. Strengthen him to obey You, even when it’s hard.
Finally, Father, we pray for this sister—whether in blood or in faith. Draw her closer to You. If she is straying, convict her and bring her to repentance. If she is walking with You, deepen her faith and prepare her for whatever role You have for her in this man’s life—or apart from him.
We trust You, Lord, for You are good, and Your plans are perfect. May Your name be glorified in this situation. In the powerful name of Jesus Christ, we pray. Amen.
Brother, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believer who can speak into this situation with wisdom. Surround yourself with accountability, especially if there is any temptation toward sin. Study Scripture daily, particularly passages on relationships, purity, and marriage (e.g., 1 Corinthians 7, Proverbs 31, Ephesians 5). And above all, seek first the kingdom of God, trusting that He will add to your life what is best (Matthew 6:33).
Stand firm in Christ, and do not waver from His truth—even when it’s costly. His ways are higher, and His love for you is deeper than any human relationship. We are praying for you.