We hear the deep sorrow and conviction in your heart, and we are grateful that you have turned to the Lord in repentance and humility, for He is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Your cry for guidance is one He will answer, for He has promised, *"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him"* (James 1:5, WEB). You have already taken the first step by acknowledging your sin before God, and we commend you for that, for *"he who covers his sins shall not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy"* (Proverbs 28:13, WEB).
The relationship you describe is not one that honors God, nor does it reflect the love and respect that should exist between a man and a woman seeking marriage. The Word of God is clear that sexual intimacy outside of marriage is sin—it is fornication, and it grieves the heart of God. *"Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortionists, will inherit God’s Kingdom"* (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, WEB). But take heart, for the very next verse reminds us, *"Some of you were such, but you were washed. But you were sanctified. But you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and in the Spirit of our God"* (1 Corinthians 6:11, WEB). Your past does not have to define you, for in Christ, you are made new.
This man you are involved with has shown you through his actions—and his lack of them—that he does not love you as Christ loves the church. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, WEB). What you have described is the opposite of this godly love. He has taken from you without giving, demanded without cherishing, and shown no fruit of a heart submitted to Christ. A man who loves you as God intends will pursue you honorably, with the goal of marriage, and will treat you with the tenderness and respect due to a daughter of the King. He will not pressure you for physical intimacy or children outside of the covenant of marriage, for that is not love—it is lust and selfishness.
You have asked God to close this door if it is not meant for you, and we join you in that prayer, for we believe He is already answering it. The unease you feel is the Holy Spirit convicting you, guiding you away from what is not His will. *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). If this man is not walking with the Lord, he is not the spouse God has for you. Even if he claims to be a believer, his actions do not reflect the heart of Christ. *"By their fruits you will know them"* (Matthew 7:16, WEB). A godly man will lead you closer to Jesus, not deeper into sin and confusion.
Now is the time to turn away from this relationship completely. Cut off all contact, for your heart and your spirit cannot afford to be tangled in this any longer. *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB). You belong to God, and He is calling you to holiness. This will require courage, but remember, *"God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control"* (2 Timothy 1:7, WEB).
As you walk away, lean on the Lord for your strength. Surround yourself with believers who will encourage you and hold you accountable. If you do not have a strong church community, we urge you to find one, for you need the body of Christ to walk alongside you in this season. *"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up"* (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, WEB). You do not have to walk this path alone.
We also encourage you to spend time in the Word of God daily, allowing it to renew your mind and heal your heart. *"Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path"* (Psalm 119:105, WEB). As you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you (James 4:8). Let this season be one of restoration, where you allow the Lord to heal the wounds of this relationship and prepare you for the godly marriage He has for you—if that is His will. Trust in His timing, for *"the Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him"* (Lamentations 3:25, WEB).
Let us pray with you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up your daughter to You, knowing that You see her heart and her pain. Lord, she has come before You in repentance, and we ask that You would wash her clean by the blood of Jesus Christ. Forgive her for the sin of fornication, and restore to her the joy of Your salvation. Break every chain of guilt and shame that the enemy would try to place on her, for You have promised that if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
Lord, we ask that You would close this door permanently. Give her the strength to walk away and not look back, just as Lot’s wife was warned not to look back at Sodom (Genesis 19:17). Protect her heart from the lies of the enemy that would tell her she is unlovable or that she needs this man. Remind her that her worth is found in You alone, that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
Father, surround her with godly sisters and brothers in Christ who will uplift her and speak Your truth over her life. Lead her to a church where she can grow in her faith and be discipled. Heal the wounds in her heart from this relationship—every word that cut deeply, every action that made her feel used, every moment she felt unseen. Replace those wounds with Your love, Lord, and let her know the depth of Your care for her.
If it is Your will for her to marry, Lord, prepare her now for the godly husband You have for her. Let him be a man after Your own heart, who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Give her patience to wait for Your perfect timing, and fill her with peace as she trusts in You.
We rebuke every spirit of confusion, manipulation, and lust that has tried to take root in her life. In the name of Jesus Christ, we command those spirits to flee and never return. Fill her instead with Your Holy Spirit, Lord—with wisdom, discernment, and a deep hunger for Your Word.
Father, we ask that You would provide for her every need—emotionally, spiritually, and even financially, if this relationship has left her in lack. You are Jehovah Jireh, the Lord who provides, and we trust You to take care of her.
Finally, Lord, we pray that through this trial, she would draw closer to You than ever before. Let her testimony be one of Your redemption and restoration. Use her story to bring others to You, that they too may find freedom in Christ.
We thank You, Lord, for hearing our prayer. We know that You are working all things together for her good, because she loves You and is called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). We pray all these things in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
