P
prayingmother
Guest
About a week ago, I asked for prayer because my daughter was accusing someone of doing something wrong. She's living her life one day at a time, as if nothing is wrong, meanwhile, the accusation is very much still there and has divided the family.
There is a void that's hurting us all and it involves the grandchildren as well. We are no longer able to bring them over to the house and I know that my husband misses them very much, as well as myself. I feel that the way my daughter is behaving is very selfish and controlling and she's convinced herself of foolish lies because of her own pain she's been through as a child.
This division is very hurtful and although my husband and I are Christians and very forgiving, it's hard moving on and waiting for the ice to break. I talk to my daughter still, but our conversations are brief and a bit cold. For years now, she's given me mixed feelings about what kind of mother I've been to her and her siblings. I was not the best mother, but neglect was not one of my parenting skills. I did the best that I could and every decision I ever made when it concerned the children was because I thought it was for everyone's best interest. There's nothing in my heart that guilts me into believing that I was a bad mother, because I've prayed for truth and understanding as to what my daughter's accusations mean. I've even asked her for forgiveness for anything and everything whatsoever that has her in this "unforgiveness" mode. I've done my part and moved on, but it seems as if she's found another way to get to me, to hurt me (still).
It's been years, now but I've learned to deal with accusations and the pain she causes me, mentally and emotionally. I pray that she comes to her senses, but really soon because my heart can't take anymore pain. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I won't be spending the day with her and my grandchildren BECAUSE of her accusations. It's as if she's not completely satisfied unless she has "a drama" going on in her life. She says she doesn't like 'drama' but she sure does create them.
Please pray for all of my children to be drawn to God and find peace and forgiveness for whatever it is that ails their hearts and minds of nonsense. I want to live life as normal as possible, Free from drama, free from hate and hurt. I know life isn't perfect, but the things that aren't necessary really aren't necessary and is very wasteful time to what is suppose to be precious. I want to live life worry free and with a joyful heart. But not just for myself but for my entire family. That they cast their cares and worries on God and let Him deal with the areas that we can't fix in our lives.
I've been trying my hardest to live as if nothing is wrong, but it gets harder as each day passes. Especially when I hear other talk about their children/grandchildren and mine are kept from me because of hate. I want things right but not just for a little while, but forever. I want all the hate to stop and maturity to kick in when it comes to my kids. One is living her life in deception, another is running away from reality and the other is neglecting his obligations at school.... I'M TIRED. I want all the nonsense to stop.. I want peace and wholeness. I have no desire to do anything these days but sit in my bedroom and hurt. My dishes are piling, my clothes are piling, my floors need to be swept... I'm neglecting the one who haven't hurt me because of the ones who have. I want to move on, but move on with everyone. It's as if I experience any joy, I feel guilty because everyone else is miserable. My heart is heavy and I'm soo soooo sad behind the fascade I've made for myself in order to not burden others with my troubles.
There is a void that's hurting us all and it involves the grandchildren as well. We are no longer able to bring them over to the house and I know that my husband misses them very much, as well as myself. I feel that the way my daughter is behaving is very selfish and controlling and she's convinced herself of foolish lies because of her own pain she's been through as a child.
This division is very hurtful and although my husband and I are Christians and very forgiving, it's hard moving on and waiting for the ice to break. I talk to my daughter still, but our conversations are brief and a bit cold. For years now, she's given me mixed feelings about what kind of mother I've been to her and her siblings. I was not the best mother, but neglect was not one of my parenting skills. I did the best that I could and every decision I ever made when it concerned the children was because I thought it was for everyone's best interest. There's nothing in my heart that guilts me into believing that I was a bad mother, because I've prayed for truth and understanding as to what my daughter's accusations mean. I've even asked her for forgiveness for anything and everything whatsoever that has her in this "unforgiveness" mode. I've done my part and moved on, but it seems as if she's found another way to get to me, to hurt me (still).
It's been years, now but I've learned to deal with accusations and the pain she causes me, mentally and emotionally. I pray that she comes to her senses, but really soon because my heart can't take anymore pain. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I won't be spending the day with her and my grandchildren BECAUSE of her accusations. It's as if she's not completely satisfied unless she has "a drama" going on in her life. She says she doesn't like 'drama' but she sure does create them.
Please pray for all of my children to be drawn to God and find peace and forgiveness for whatever it is that ails their hearts and minds of nonsense. I want to live life as normal as possible, Free from drama, free from hate and hurt. I know life isn't perfect, but the things that aren't necessary really aren't necessary and is very wasteful time to what is suppose to be precious. I want to live life worry free and with a joyful heart. But not just for myself but for my entire family. That they cast their cares and worries on God and let Him deal with the areas that we can't fix in our lives.
I've been trying my hardest to live as if nothing is wrong, but it gets harder as each day passes. Especially when I hear other talk about their children/grandchildren and mine are kept from me because of hate. I want things right but not just for a little while, but forever. I want all the hate to stop and maturity to kick in when it comes to my kids. One is living her life in deception, another is running away from reality and the other is neglecting his obligations at school.... I'M TIRED. I want all the nonsense to stop.. I want peace and wholeness. I have no desire to do anything these days but sit in my bedroom and hurt. My dishes are piling, my clothes are piling, my floors need to be swept... I'm neglecting the one who haven't hurt me because of the ones who have. I want to move on, but move on with everyone. It's as if I experience any joy, I feel guilty because everyone else is miserable. My heart is heavy and I'm soo soooo sad behind the fascade I've made for myself in order to not burden others with my troubles.
