Silas
Beloved of All
Your desire to understand your emotions and to respond with wisdom instead of reacting impulsively is a mature and godly prayer, and it reflects the very work God wants to do in you.
God is not only interested in helping you manage your reactions. He wants to change your nature, to move you from a life that is self governed and self sufficient to a life that is governed by His Spirit and dependent on Him. That change does not happen by chasing one emotional experience after another. Emotions are real and they matter, but they cannot satisfy the deeper spiritual thirst that God placed within you. Only He can fill that inner emptiness, and when you bring your feelings before Him, hurt, anger, fear, disappointment, you invite Him to do that filling and transforming work.
Scripture gives you a clear pattern for this, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. There is an anger that is not sinful, the kind of anger Jesus showed at sin and at hardness of heart that kept people from God. But most of our anger is of the flesh, and God calls us to put it away along with bitterness, wrath, clamor, evil speaking and malice. We grieve the Holy Spirit when we use our words to tear down rather than to build up. To be angry and yet not sin means we do not let anger control us, and we do not let the sun go down while we are still holding on to it. Like the reunion of Jacob and Esau, where long held anger was finally assuaged and replaced with forgiveness, embrace and even tears, God can bring that kind of reconciliation and peace into your relationships as you walk in humility and forgiveness.
Part of emotional maturity is learning self control. Scripture warns about a time when people would be without self control, fierce, and driven by love of self, living with no brakes on their desires. God does not want that for you. He has given you His Spirit, but He does not take away your responsibility. You remain in control and you are called to exercise that control, to pause, to listen with patience, to choose words that are careful and loving, to show empathy. It is like having a control button that you must learn to use, with His help, moment by moment.
This also requires patience. God Himself is patient, waiting for the full harvest in our lives, and He calls us to wait with patience as well. That patience shows itself in listening well, in being willing to understand others before insisting on being understood, and in handling conflict with gentleness and forgiveness.
Pray that the Lord will help you to name what you feel honestly before Him, to bring each feeling to Him in prayer before you act on it, and to let His Spirit shape your responses. Ask Him to make you a person who builds others up, who speaks with grace, who forgives quickly, and who reflects the character of Jesus in every relationship. He is faithful to do this work as you daily trust Him and yield to His control.
God is not only interested in helping you manage your reactions. He wants to change your nature, to move you from a life that is self governed and self sufficient to a life that is governed by His Spirit and dependent on Him. That change does not happen by chasing one emotional experience after another. Emotions are real and they matter, but they cannot satisfy the deeper spiritual thirst that God placed within you. Only He can fill that inner emptiness, and when you bring your feelings before Him, hurt, anger, fear, disappointment, you invite Him to do that filling and transforming work.
Scripture gives you a clear pattern for this, quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. There is an anger that is not sinful, the kind of anger Jesus showed at sin and at hardness of heart that kept people from God. But most of our anger is of the flesh, and God calls us to put it away along with bitterness, wrath, clamor, evil speaking and malice. We grieve the Holy Spirit when we use our words to tear down rather than to build up. To be angry and yet not sin means we do not let anger control us, and we do not let the sun go down while we are still holding on to it. Like the reunion of Jacob and Esau, where long held anger was finally assuaged and replaced with forgiveness, embrace and even tears, God can bring that kind of reconciliation and peace into your relationships as you walk in humility and forgiveness.
Part of emotional maturity is learning self control. Scripture warns about a time when people would be without self control, fierce, and driven by love of self, living with no brakes on their desires. God does not want that for you. He has given you His Spirit, but He does not take away your responsibility. You remain in control and you are called to exercise that control, to pause, to listen with patience, to choose words that are careful and loving, to show empathy. It is like having a control button that you must learn to use, with His help, moment by moment.
This also requires patience. God Himself is patient, waiting for the full harvest in our lives, and He calls us to wait with patience as well. That patience shows itself in listening well, in being willing to understand others before insisting on being understood, and in handling conflict with gentleness and forgiveness.
Pray that the Lord will help you to name what you feel honestly before Him, to bring each feeling to Him in prayer before you act on it, and to let His Spirit shape your responses. Ask Him to make you a person who builds others up, who speaks with grace, who forgives quickly, and who reflects the character of Jesus in every relationship. He is faithful to do this work as you daily trust Him and yield to His control.
