You are standing at a crossroads I know well, one where the heart strains forward and the eyes search the horizon for a single, sure sign. There is a hope in you, and you have laid it before the Lord with honest words. That is right and good. But oh, how the waiting can grip the soul and how the mind can spin and spin, like a weathervane in a gusty wind! One moment the hope sings, the next moment a shadow falls, and you wonder if you have heard anything at all. Let me come alongside you in that tender, unsettled place, not to give you the answer you seek, but to steady your eyes upon the One who holds the answer already in his pierced hands.
The future is a country none of us can map. We think sometimes that we hold tomorrow in our palm, or that we can bend it to our will, but we are poor, frail creatures, and the next breath is a mercy. You feel that. You are not proud in your asking; you are humble, kneeling before the throne, begging for a glimpse of the King’s intention. Yet the King does not always answer by showing us the road ahead. More often he answers by showing us himself. And a sight of him, his goodness, his careful love, his wisdom purchased at the cost of his own blood, is better than a thousand signs. A sign can be misread, but the heart that rests in him cannot be finally lost.
Think for a moment of a child walking on a dark lane, holding her father’s hand. She cannot see three steps in front of her. The shapes in the hedge look fearsome; the turning at the end is hidden in deep shadow. But does she demand that her father light a lantern and point to each detailed map of the journey ahead? No, she grips his fingers more tightly, and the warmth of his palm tells her everything she truly needs to know. She does not know the way, but she knows the Guide. And so it is with you. You are asking, “Is this man the one you have appointed for me?” But your Father says first, “Do you know me? Do you trust the hand that holds you?” For the one who has already given you his Son, costly Pearl, priceless Jewel, will he not with him also freely give you all that is needed for your earthly pilgrimage?
I would not press down upon you with a heavy hand, but I would lift you up with a tender truth: the great Husband of your soul is already yours. Jesus Christ has betrothed you to himself forever. He did not wait until you were lovely; he found you in the poverty of your sin, your garments stained, your prospects ruined, and with a love that would not let you go he took you as his own. He has put a ring upon your finger and a seal upon your heart. He is the heavenly Bridegroom who never makes a mistake, never forgets his promise, and never grows weary of his beloved. Before you were ever aware of this particular man, before the first prayer about a future husband ever trembled on your lips, Christ had set his affection upon you and wedded your poor soul to himself in an everlasting covenant. Rest in that. The greater marriage is already secure; the lesser will be arranged by him who does all things well.
You long for clarity; I understand. But sometimes the Lord keeps us in a blessed suspense for a season so that we may learn to lean more on him than on the visible. The ship feels safest when the anchor is seen fast on the sand, but in deep water the anchor disappears, and we must trust the unseen. Your prayer is not unheard. Every syllable of it has reached the ear of the Lord of Sabaoth. He is not indifferent. He who taught you from your youth, who has written your name on the palms of his hands, will not abandon you to guesswork forever. The way will open, perhaps not with a trumpet blast, but with the quiet dawn of an inward peace that you cannot manufacture. While you wait, do not let the noise of your own questioning drown the soft “Fear not” that he is already speaking to your heart.
While you are watching for a sign, do not forget the thousand signs he has already given you of his fatherly care. You are a jewel on his breastplate. You are precious in his sight, honored, and loved. All the machinery of Providence, those wheels within wheels that dazzle and confuse, are turning for your good. Not a spot on your life is unknown to him. Not a tear falls but he sees it. And if this particular desire is withheld, or shaped differently than you now imagine, it will be because he has something better to give you than the thing you beg for, he will give you more of himself. He will so fill the empty places that you will look back and bless him for the ungiven gift.
I would love to write you a love letter with no black edges, if I could, to tell you plainly, yes, this man is yours. But I have no such liberty. I can only point you to the One whose love for you has no edges at all, but is boundless and bright. Bring this longing to him again, not as a demand, but as a little girl bringing a flower she has plucked, to lay it on the Father’s knee, saying, “Whatever you think best, dear Father. Only hold me while I wait.” He will hold you. He will guide you. He may guide you by withholding a flashing sign and giving instead a quiet, settled willingness in your heart to walk forward with open hands, content to be taught, and content even with a slow unfolding.
Let me pray for you, for that is the best service an old pastor can offer:
Lord Jesus, you who are the same yesterday, today, and forever, you who were not ashamed to call us beloved when we were not lovely, come now and calm this troubled, hopeful heart. In the place of her perplexity, speak your peace. If the path she contemplates is not for her good, gently shut the gate and leave her hand still fast in yours. If it is the way you have ordained, then prepare both her and this man, as she has prayed, and be the sun at the center of their home. But above all, and before all, be so real to her, so near, that whether single or married, she knows with a sweet and certain knowledge that she is your own blood-bought jewel. Take the fever out of her waiting; let her soul be like a weaned child. And fill her mind with the quiet confidence that you are guiding, even when no sign is seen. We leave it all with you, mighty Redeemer, whose word never drops to the ground. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
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