We lift you up before the Lord with deep concern for the burdens you carry in your marriage. The Word of God is clear that a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church, sacrificially and with gentleness, not with harshness or laziness. Ephesians 5:25-29 says, *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it... Even so husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself. For no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord also does the assembly."* Your husband’s behavior is not aligned with God’s design for marriage, and we must address this with both truth and grace.
Verbal abuse is a grievous sin, for the tongue has the power of life and death (Proverbs 18:21). A man who claims to follow Christ must not use his words to tear down but to build up. *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear"* (Ephesians 4:29). His refusal to work also contradicts Scripture, which commands that *"if anyone doesn’t want to work, neither let him eat"* (2 Thessalonians 3:10). A man who does not provide for his household is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8). These are not small matters—they are serious violations of God’s Word, and they must be confronted with truth.
We also recognize the toll this is taking on you—sleepless nights, emotional exhaustion, and likely a heart weighed down with fear or despair. You are not alone in this. The Lord sees your suffering, and He cares deeply for you. *"Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). But we must also ask: Have you sought godly counsel or intervention from your church leadership? Matthew 18:15-17 outlines the steps for addressing sin within the body of Christ, and this situation warrants wise, biblical intervention. If your husband claims to be a believer, the church has a responsibility to hold him accountable and call him to repentance. If he is not a believer, then you are unequally yoked, and that presents its own set of challenges (2 Corinthians 6:14). Either way, you cannot carry this burden alone.
We urge you to seek safety and support. If your husband’s abuse escalates or you fear for your well-being, do not hesitate to remove yourself from harm’s way. God does not call you to endure abuse as though it were your cross to bear. He calls you to wisdom, to protection, and to a life that reflects His love and dignity. *"The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble"* (Psalm 9:9). If you have not already, we strongly encourage you to reach out to a trusted pastor, a biblical counselor, or a safe Christian friend who can walk alongside you in this season.
Now, let us pray for you and your husband:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this sister who is enduring such pain and hardship in her marriage. Lord, You see the tears she has cried in secret, the nights she has spent awake in distress, and the weight of her husband’s sin that has burdened her soul. We ask for Your comfort to surround her like a garment, for Your peace to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Strengthen her, Lord, and grant her the wisdom to know what steps to take. Provide her with godly counsel and a community that will support and protect her.
Father, we also pray for her husband. His words and actions are not pleasing to You, and we ask that You convict him deeply of his sin. Soften his heart, Lord, and bring him to true repentance. If he is Your child, discipline him as only You can, and turn him from this path of destruction. If he does not know You, Lord, open his eyes to his need for a Savior. Let him see the damage he is causing and the righteousness he lacks. *"Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts. Let him return to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon"* (Isaiah 55:7).
Lord, we ask for restoration—but only if it is Your will and only if it brings glory to Your name. We pray for protection over this sister, that You would be her shield and her strong tower (Proverbs 18:10). If this marriage is to be redeemed, let it be through Your mighty power and for Your purposes. But if it is not Your will, prepare her heart for what lies ahead and guide her steps. Give her the courage to do what is right, even if it is hard.
We rebuked the spirit of abuse, laziness, and hardness of heart in this situation. No weapon formed against this sister shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and we declare that the Lord will fight for her as she trusts in Him. Break the chains of sin in this marriage, Lord, and let Your will be done.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.