Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your honest and humble cry has been heard, and I thank you for bringing it into the light. You are not alone in this struggle, and the very fact that you want to be free and want the presence of Jesus is itself a work of His grace drawing you.
You spoke of feeling trapped in a cycle of pornography and feeling like a failure. Hear the good news of what Christ has done. We were enemies of God, condemned and with no one to offer sacrifice for us, but He Himself became our High Priest. Scripture says by Himself He purged our sins and sat down at the right hand of God. He did not appoint another to do this work, He did it Himself because of His great love and mercy. He is a merciful and faithful High Priest who saw us cast down and perishing under sin and death and had compassion on us. He has put in us the word of reconciliation. This means forgiveness is not earned by your strength to break the cycle, but is freely given through Jesus Christ alone when we turn to Him in repentance and faith.
That does not mean we stay in sin. God calls us to turn away from it completely, because sex is a gift given by God to be enjoyed only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Pornography goes directly against that good design and it will keep you from the nearness of Christ you long for. To walk toward freedom, bring this sin fully into the light before God. Confess it plainly without excuse, and ask for His cleansing, for He promises that if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive. Take practical steps to cut off access, remove what causes you to stumble, put filters and barriers in place, and do not fight alone. Share this struggle with a trusted mature Christian man or pastor who can hold you accountable, pray with you regularly, and help you stay rooted and built up in Christ and established in the faith.
You also said you feel your life is far from God. Remember the servant who owed ten thousand talents. His debt was unpayable, yet his master forgave it all. We owe God a far greater debt than we can ever repay, yet He forbears and forgives freely through the blood of His Son. Do not let shame keep you from Him. Run to Him now, just as you are, and thank Him that His mercy is greater than your failure. Abounding in thanksgiving, even for His forgiveness, will help strengthen your heart against temptation.
I am praying for you and for your family.
I pray that God will give you a true turning from this sin, strength to walk in purity, and a renewed sense of His presence as you walk with Him daily in His Word and in prayer, rooted in Christ who is the way to the Father.
I pray for your mum and dad, that God would bring reconciliation where there is silence and hurt. That He would soften hearts, grant humility and forgiveness, and help them to speak to one another again with grace and truth, and to honor the marriage covenant.
I pray for your brother and your dad and their relationship, that God would heal what is broken between them, bring peace where there is conflict, and provide for their work needs. That they would know reconciliation with each other as they seek reconciliation with God through Christ.
I pray for your finances, for the debt and the charges that weigh so heavily on you. That God would give you wisdom for stewardship, provision for your needs, and peace as you trust Him. Seek wise counsel in your church or from a trusted believer about practical steps for your debt, and trust that God cares for you and knows your need.
You said you just want to be free. True freedom comes only through Jesus. Keep turning to Him, keep walking in Him as you first received Him, and do not give up. God is patient and long suffering, and He is able to make you stand.
You spoke of feeling trapped in a cycle of pornography and feeling like a failure. Hear the good news of what Christ has done. We were enemies of God, condemned and with no one to offer sacrifice for us, but He Himself became our High Priest. Scripture says by Himself He purged our sins and sat down at the right hand of God. He did not appoint another to do this work, He did it Himself because of His great love and mercy. He is a merciful and faithful High Priest who saw us cast down and perishing under sin and death and had compassion on us. He has put in us the word of reconciliation. This means forgiveness is not earned by your strength to break the cycle, but is freely given through Jesus Christ alone when we turn to Him in repentance and faith.
That does not mean we stay in sin. God calls us to turn away from it completely, because sex is a gift given by God to be enjoyed only within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. Pornography goes directly against that good design and it will keep you from the nearness of Christ you long for. To walk toward freedom, bring this sin fully into the light before God. Confess it plainly without excuse, and ask for His cleansing, for He promises that if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive. Take practical steps to cut off access, remove what causes you to stumble, put filters and barriers in place, and do not fight alone. Share this struggle with a trusted mature Christian man or pastor who can hold you accountable, pray with you regularly, and help you stay rooted and built up in Christ and established in the faith.
You also said you feel your life is far from God. Remember the servant who owed ten thousand talents. His debt was unpayable, yet his master forgave it all. We owe God a far greater debt than we can ever repay, yet He forbears and forgives freely through the blood of His Son. Do not let shame keep you from Him. Run to Him now, just as you are, and thank Him that His mercy is greater than your failure. Abounding in thanksgiving, even for His forgiveness, will help strengthen your heart against temptation.
I am praying for you and for your family.
I pray that God will give you a true turning from this sin, strength to walk in purity, and a renewed sense of His presence as you walk with Him daily in His Word and in prayer, rooted in Christ who is the way to the Father.
I pray for your mum and dad, that God would bring reconciliation where there is silence and hurt. That He would soften hearts, grant humility and forgiveness, and help them to speak to one another again with grace and truth, and to honor the marriage covenant.
I pray for your brother and your dad and their relationship, that God would heal what is broken between them, bring peace where there is conflict, and provide for their work needs. That they would know reconciliation with each other as they seek reconciliation with God through Christ.
I pray for your finances, for the debt and the charges that weigh so heavily on you. That God would give you wisdom for stewardship, provision for your needs, and peace as you trust Him. Seek wise counsel in your church or from a trusted believer about practical steps for your debt, and trust that God cares for you and knows your need.
You said you just want to be free. True freedom comes only through Jesus. Keep turning to Him, keep walking in Him as you first received Him, and do not give up. God is patient and long suffering, and He is able to make you stand.
