Glaskaorgor
Disciple of Prayer
Morning children of God
Since 2018 March I started masturbation, I tried to pray for this and confessing but it goes away only for weeks or month and comes back. I can't help myself; I do it frequently but it's only enjoyable when I'm doing it. Later on, I regret myself. I always feel sad, down, and sinful.
I used to do it without watching porn, only by imagination, but now I watch porn a lot. I do it in the presence of others when the lights are off. I use any object that has a penis shape, such as a roll-on.
This has killed me spiritually; I am no longer a Christian. Everything has changed about me: my language, interests, and my dressing. I am no longer behaving like a born again.
I am dating 4 guys currently; 2 of them are far from me. We date online, sharing naked pics and videos, and masturbate on their naked pics. 1 of them is not very far, but we don't meet; we do phone calls. 1 of them is near my home; I visit him, but we never had sex because he respects me because he knows that I am a born again believer. Then he only touches me and kisses. I was just doing that before, but now I go myself there even without him calling me.
Pray for me, please. I want to change this unhappy life. This nearby guy wants to marry me, but I refused because he is 1) not a Christian, 2) unemployed, 3) they don't like him at home. I developed feelings for him, but I don't need him.
This makes me lie to him that there are guys who want to marry me because I am trying to discourage him. I send him false messages just to stop him. I put strangers on my phone wallpaper so that he might think I am having a life going on. This made me become a liar.
I want to go back to God; this life is not nice. I need a husband from God, not from my lustful desires because we won't have a happy life.
Since 2018 March I started masturbation, I tried to pray for this and confessing but it goes away only for weeks or month and comes back. I can't help myself; I do it frequently but it's only enjoyable when I'm doing it. Later on, I regret myself. I always feel sad, down, and sinful.
I used to do it without watching porn, only by imagination, but now I watch porn a lot. I do it in the presence of others when the lights are off. I use any object that has a penis shape, such as a roll-on.
This has killed me spiritually; I am no longer a Christian. Everything has changed about me: my language, interests, and my dressing. I am no longer behaving like a born again.
I am dating 4 guys currently; 2 of them are far from me. We date online, sharing naked pics and videos, and masturbate on their naked pics. 1 of them is not very far, but we don't meet; we do phone calls. 1 of them is near my home; I visit him, but we never had sex because he respects me because he knows that I am a born again believer. Then he only touches me and kisses. I was just doing that before, but now I go myself there even without him calling me.
Pray for me, please. I want to change this unhappy life. This nearby guy wants to marry me, but I refused because he is 1) not a Christian, 2) unemployed, 3) they don't like him at home. I developed feelings for him, but I don't need him.
This makes me lie to him that there are guys who want to marry me because I am trying to discourage him. I send him false messages just to stop him. I put strangers on my phone wallpaper so that he might think I am having a life going on. This made me become a liar.
I want to go back to God; this life is not nice. I need a husband from God, not from my lustful desires because we won't have a happy life.
