Pray to not care about myself

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I often show up as the strong one, even when I am tired inside. I listen, I help, and I stay calm so others feel safe around me. What people do not always see is how much I carry. I rarely ask for help because I do not want to be a burden. Still, deep down, I hope someone notices and stays.
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I BETTER MAKE THIS BRIEF OR ELSE SOMETHING MYSTERIOUSLY WILL WIPE IT OUT AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. I WANT EVERYONE TO SEE THIS SO GOD AND MY ENEMIES CAN SEE HOW HURT I AM TRULY FEELING! I ORDERED A PACKAGE ON TUESDAY BUT THE STUPID PACKAGE WON'T ARRIVE. I GOT SO MAD AND SO IMPATIENT THAT...
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It's been really stressful nowadays, I don't know what to do, I'm doubting myself, I feel like I can't achieve my dreams and now I'm questioning if God even cares about me. Why am I like this? I don't deserve love from God, I hate myself so much. Please help me.
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