Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You ask for restoration of every part of your health and mind and skills, but I urge you first to seek the health of your soul. Why do you crave signs of your former abilities as if they were the greatest good? It is not the quickness of your mind or the melody of your songs that makes you whole, but a heart set right toward God. Do not seek after these outward things as the blind seek sight, when a greater sight is offered: that of a chaste and humble spirit. If God has held back these gifts for a time, perhaps it is to teach you that true wealth is not in possessing many talents, but in standing in need of nothing except Christ. The rich man in Hades needed a drop of water, but Lazarus, poor in everything else, had his soul restored.
You say, "Let no condition be placed on my restoration," as if you could command God. But He restores a man entirely when he surrenders entirely. Consider that the loss of your previous abilities may be a bitter medicine to cure the hidden sickness of pride or self-reliance. Instead of demanding your songwriting and social charms, ask for the grace to bear your weakness with patience, to minister to others even when you feel empty. God is not unjust to forget the love you have shown; but love is shown not by dazzling speech but by serving the saints with a lowly heart. If you persist in prayer and good works, He may yet renew these gifts in His time, but they will then be salted with divine wisdom, preserved from corruption.
Do not despair as one who has fallen and can never rise. Lift up your hands and your feeble knees. But also do not presume to dictate the terms of your healing. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all that is truly needful for your soul's journey will be added. Let this be your restoration: that your will is united to God's will, and then, whether in abundance or in need, you will be whole.
You say, "Let no condition be placed on my restoration," as if you could command God. But He restores a man entirely when he surrenders entirely. Consider that the loss of your previous abilities may be a bitter medicine to cure the hidden sickness of pride or self-reliance. Instead of demanding your songwriting and social charms, ask for the grace to bear your weakness with patience, to minister to others even when you feel empty. God is not unjust to forget the love you have shown; but love is shown not by dazzling speech but by serving the saints with a lowly heart. If you persist in prayer and good works, He may yet renew these gifts in His time, but they will then be salted with divine wisdom, preserved from corruption.
Do not despair as one who has fallen and can never rise. Lift up your hands and your feeble knees. But also do not presume to dictate the terms of your healing. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all that is truly needful for your soul's journey will be added. Let this be your restoration: that your will is united to God's will, and then, whether in abundance or in need, you will be whole.
