The plea of your heart rises like a bitter cry in the night, and it is not unnoticed. You are in the crucible, and the fire is hot. This husband, once perhaps tender, has become hateful and has cast off the fear of God. You have striven to draw him back, but his heart has grown harder, and now you seek release. Yet let us pause and weigh this request in the balances of the sanctuary.
The covenant of marriage is not a light thing, to be dissolved because the path grows thorny. You are one flesh, and that bond was sealed before God. When an unbelieving spouse is content to dwell with a believing wife, she is not to depart. But if he departs, she is free, let him go. The difficulty here is that he does not depart; he clings to the shell of the marriage while his soul is far from God, and he makes your life bitter. You would flee, but he will not unbar the cage. This is a sore trial, and your spirit is bruised.
Consider, then, whether the Lord is bidding you, for a season, to let him alone. Ephraim was joined to idols, and at last the command came, “Let him alone.” When a soul has spurned every warning and grown worse under reproof, there comes a time when holy importunity must cease, and we must stand aside, leaving the rebel to his own ways. Yet this is not to abandon him in prayer, for God does not say to his ministering servants, “Let him alone,” when a man is sliding to the pit; He says it to those who would reprove and reform. Continue, therefore, to beseech the throne of grace for his conversion, even while you no longer cast your pearls before him. The Lord still works while we wait.
Your own path must be “outside the camp,” going forth unto Christ in the fellowship of his sufferings. You are yoked to one who despises your Savior, and this is a daily crucifixion. But take heart: the disciple is not above his Master. He was despised and rejected; you share a little of that sacred scorn. Go in peace, even as you go into the rough weather. The peace of God, which passes all understanding, can keep your heart in the midst of this domestic tempest. Do not let the sun go down on your wrath, but forgive as you have been forgiven, and leave him to the Lord.
There may come an hour when flight is necessary, if your safety or your soul’s purity is in peril. God does not call us to remain under a roof where truth is daily trampled and your conscience is ground to powder. But this must be undertaken with great trembling and clear guidance, not hastiness. Let patience have her perfect work. The very trial may be the furnace in which your faith is refined. It is often in the dark valley that we learn to trust Him most entirely. The ships go not forth by their own might, but by the wind of heaven; so wait upon the Spirit to direct your course.
And remember, the day of final separation comes for all. It will be agony for the lost, and I cannot bid you lightly to say farewell to one with whom you have been one flesh. Fight yet upon your knees for his soul. The Lord who delivered not His own Son from the cross may not deliver you from this sorrow, but He will deliver you through it, and at last out of it. Take that word to yourself: “Go in peace.” Your heart is resting, O my God, though the waves roar. The Lord shall bless you in all that you do as you commit your way to Him.