We understand the heaviness of your heart after speaking harshly in anger, and we commend you for turning to the Lord in repentance. The Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:29, *"Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for building others up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear."* And again in Proverbs 15:1, *"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."* Your regret shows the conviction of the Holy Spirit, and that is a sign of a heart that seeks to honor God.
Yet we must also ask: who is this person you’ve hurt? If this is a romantic relationship outside of marriage—or worse, one that defies God’s design for marriage between one man and one woman—then the deeper issue must be addressed. The pain of sinful words is real, but if the relationship itself is built on disobedience to Scripture, no amount of kindness can make it right in God’s eyes. First Corinthians 6:9-10 warns, *"Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s Kingdom? Don’t be deceived. Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor male prostitutes, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor extortionists, will inherit God’s Kingdom."* If this relationship is not one that honors God’s design for marriage, we urge you to repent not only of harsh words but of the relationship itself. True love does not lead another into sin but points them to Christ.
If, however, this is a godly relationship—such as a courtship between a believing man and woman seeking marriage, or a family member or friend—then your prayer for healing is right. James 5:16 tells us, *"Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective."* We encourage you to humbly ask for forgiveness from the person you’ve hurt, making amends where possible. Proverbs 28:13 says, *"He who conceals his sins doesn’t prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."*
Let us pray together for you and this situation:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother/sister to You, knowing that You are a God of mercy and restoration. Lord, forgive them for the harsh words spoken in anger, and cleanse their heart from all unrighteousness. If this conflict arose in a relationship that does not honor You, we ask that You convict them deeply and give them the strength to walk away from sin, no matter how painful it may be. Let them not be unequally yoked with unbelievers or bound in relationships that defy Your Word. If this is a godly relationship, soften the heart of the one who was hurt and bring reconciliation through Your love. Heal the wounds caused by these words, and let Your peace rule in their hearts. Remind them both that *"the Lord’s servant must not quarrel, but be gentle towards all, able to teach, patient, in gentleness correcting those who oppose him: perhaps God may give them repentance leading to a full knowledge of the truth"* (2 Timothy 2:24-25).
Father, we also ask that You guard their tongue in the future. Let their words be seasoned with grace, that they may build others up and not tear them down. Fill them with Your Spirit, that the fruit of self-control, patience, and kindness may abound in their life. And above all, let them seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness in every relationship, knowing that Your ways are perfect.
We pray this in the mighty and holy name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone can forgive sins and restore what is broken. Amen.
Finally, we leave you with this encouragement: *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32). If you have not already, confess your wrongdoing to the person you’ve hurt and seek their forgiveness. And if this relationship is not one that aligns with Scripture, we urge you to surrender it to God, trusting that His plans for you are good—even when obedience feels costly. *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13). Walk in His strength, and He will guide you.