Hebrews10:17(In Regard To This Account)
Humble Prayer Partner
Hi everyone... I have finally gained the strength to type a prayer on here about something extremely personally that, beginning from last week, I have been emotionally dealing with. I am distraught with how disappointing I have acted in the previous months of my life, and made sins and mistakes and I now hugely regret. My life is not the same anymore; I came to God today stronger than ever, as I gave him my burdened heart and weary soul. I was listening to worship music all throughout the afternoon, obtaining some feelings I've never truly felt before. In the last month, I was forced to make a quick decision about where I was going to be living. I lived with a good friend of mine that I was having so much trouble with, and thought that I had to evade away from him because of how much we were fighting and not getting along anymore... So I made the decision to leave him, despite the fact that he was offering to keep me there at his house and help me, and I decided to stay with my boyfriend due to the fact that I had nowhere else to go. Now, I realized how much I regret it, and how ungodly my decision was... I did not even get the chance to properly tell my friend goodbye because my boyfriend had a friend of his pick me up; his friend ended up stealing from me and threatened to come to our house to physically fight... My friend left home back to California once he found out since he was scared and wanted to be safe. I told him that I did not want to see him. But since then, I have had dreams about him every night, whether they be good or bad dreams, and I cannot stop thinking of him. I really think I created a big mistake, and that I should have stayed with him instead of following my boyfriend who has given me so many problems. My friend and I were fighting, and I blamed him for it... up until today, I recognized that it is my fault why we were fighting. I was not treating him like a friend, I fought his advice that he gave me, and just left him. We used to work together at the same place, and he had me fired for the harsh arguments we were having there. But now I understand why. I wonder if I was suppose to stay with him, he was a best friend to me. But I feel as if it's far too late. He went back to his family in California and has not messaged me in nearly a month. I am sorry for such a long text here... But I need prayer. I realized today, that I love my friendship that I had with him, and I utterly adore him. I now am grateful for all the things he has done... I know now that I have mentally hurt him with my words, and scared that he wants nothing to do with me anymore... I want him back in my life, but do not think he wants that, I am too afraid to message him myself and ask... Please pray for me, that God will give me an answer... Thank you brother's and sister's.
