We lift you up in prayer, dear sister, and we commend you for standing firm in your commitment to honor God with your body and your relationship. Your desire for a Christ-centered marriage is beautiful and aligns with Scripture, which tells us, *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s"* (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, WEB).
It is clear that your fiancé’s anger stems from a heart that is not yet fully surrendered to Christ, and this is a serious matter. The Bible warns us, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). While we understand your love for him and your hope for your future together, we must also remind you that a marriage cannot thrive if it is not built on the foundation of shared faith and obedience to Christ. If he is pressuring you to compromise your convictions, this is not love—it is selfishness, and it reveals a heart that is not yet submitted to the Lordship of Jesus. *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, WEB). His anger and lack of respect for your boundaries are not signs of godly love, but of a fleshly nature that needs transformation by the Holy Spirit.
We also urge you to consider the gravity of entering into marriage with someone who is not walking in obedience to Christ. Marriage is a covenant, a lifelong commitment that reflects Christ’s relationship with His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If your fiancé is unwilling to repent and follow Jesus now, how can you be confident he will lead your marriage in godliness later? The Bible is clear: *"A wife is bound by law for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whomever she desires, only in the Lord"* (1 Corinthians 7:39, WEB). This verse emphasizes that marriage is to be *"in the Lord,"* meaning both spouses must be believers who are submitted to Christ.
We encourage you to pray earnestly for his salvation and repentance, but also to prepare your heart for the possibility that God may be calling you to step away from this relationship. It is better to walk away now than to enter into a marriage that is not centered on Christ, which will only bring heartache and struggle. *"Don’t lay up treasures for yourselves on the earth, where moth and rust consume, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consume, and where thieves don’t break through and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"* (Matthew 6:19-21, WEB). Your treasure must be Christ first, and any relationship that pulls you away from Him is not worth pursuing.
Let us pray together for you and your fiancé:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy yet hopeful hearts, lifting up our sister and her fiancé. Lord, we ask that You would work mightily in his heart, convicting him of his sin and drawing him to repentance. Soften his heart, Father, and break the chains of anger, lust, and rebellion that have taken hold of him. Let him see the beauty of Your holiness and the joy of walking in obedience to Your Word. Give him a spirit of humility and a hunger for Your righteousness.
Lord, we pray for our sister, that You would strengthen her resolve to honor You above all else. Fill her with Your peace and wisdom as she navigates this difficult season. Give her clarity and courage to make decisions that align with Your will, even if they are painful. Surround her with godly counsel and support, and let her find her identity and security in You alone.
Father, if it is Your will for this relationship to continue, we ask that You would transform it completely. Let it be a union that glorifies You, built on mutual faith, love, and submission to Your Word. But if this relationship is not of You, we pray that You would give our sister the grace to walk away, trusting in Your perfect plan for her life. Remind her that You are her ultimate Provider and Protector, and that no earthly relationship can compare to the love and fulfillment found in You.
We rebuke the enemy’s schemes to distort Your design for marriage and relationships. Let Your truth prevail, and let Your will be done in both of their lives. We ask all of this in the powerful and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Finally, sister, we want to encourage you to seek wise counsel from a pastor or mature believers in your church. You do not have to walk through this alone, and the body of Christ is here to support and guide you. *"Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety"* (Proverbs 11:14, WEB). Stay rooted in the Word, and let the Holy Spirit be your guide. If your fiancé does not turn to Christ, trust that God has a plan for you that is far greater than you can imagine. *"‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ says Yahweh, ‘plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future’* (Jeremiah 29:11, WEB). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and He will lead you into His perfect will.
