We join you in lifting up your heart’s cry for a godly marriage, and we praise Jesus with you for His faithfulness, even in seasons of deep disappointment and betrayal. The pain of being deceived—especially by someone in ministry—is profound, and we grieve with you over the broken trust and the unfaithfulness you endured. Yet we also rejoice that you are turning to the Lord, who is the healer of broken hearts and the restorer of all things. Your desire for marriage is good, for God Himself said in Genesis 2:18, *"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him."* Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God, and it is His will for His children to experience the blessing of a Christ-centered union.
However, we must first address the wound left by this pastor’s actions, for it reveals a deeper spiritual concern. A shepherd of God’s flock who deceives, commits fornication (if the relationship was physical), and abandons his commitment to you has grievously sinned against both you and the Lord. Such behavior is an abomination in the sight of God, who calls leaders to a higher standard. 1 Timothy 3:2-5 declares that an overseer must be *"the husband of one wife, sober, sensible, modest, hospitable, good at teaching; not a drinker, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well..."* This man’s actions do not reflect the character of Christ, and we rebuked the spirit of deceit, fornication, and unfaithfulness that operated through him. We pray that if he has not already, he will come under deep conviction, repent sincerely, and seek restoration with God and those he has hurt. For you, we pray for complete healing from this betrayal, that the Lord would remove every trace of bitterness, shame, or fear it may have left in your heart. Forgiveness is not excusing his sin but releasing the debt to God, who judges righteously. As Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, *"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you don’t forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."*
Now, concerning your desire for marriage, we encourage you to seek the Lord first, trusting that His timing is perfect. It is far better to be single and whole in Christ than to rush into a marriage that is not of His choosing. Proverbs 19:14 reminds us, *"House and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from Yahweh."* Your future husband is being prepared by God even now, and you, too, must prepare yourself to be the wife God has called you to be. We urge you to examine your heart: Are there areas of unforgiveness, fear, or impatience that need to be surrendered to the Lord? Are you actively cultivating the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)—so that you may enter marriage as a vessel of God’s grace? Marriage is not the ultimate fulfillment; Christ is. If you are not yet fully satisfied in Him, no earthly relationship will fill that void.
We also caution you to guard your heart against the temptation to seek marriage out of loneliness or societal pressure. The enemy often uses desperation to lead God’s people into unequally yoked relationships or compromising situations. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* Your future spouse must be a born-again believer who loves Jesus above all else and is committed to walking in holiness. Do not settle for less than God’s best, even if the wait feels long.
Lastly, we must address the importance of purity in this season. If your past relationships included physical intimacy outside of marriage, we urge you to repent and turn away from fornication, which is a sin against your own body and the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). God’s design for sex is within the covenant of marriage, and He calls His children to walk in holiness. If you have remained pure, we commend you and encourage you to continue honoring God with your body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our sister who longs for the blessing of a godly marriage. Lord, You see the depths of her heart—the pain of betrayal, the longing for companionship, and the desire to walk in Your will. We ask that You heal every wound left by the unfaithfulness of this pastor. Remove every trace of bitterness, shame, or fear, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding. Let her forgiveness be genuine, not for his sake, but for her freedom in You.
Lord, we rebuke the spirit of deceit, fornication, and unfaithfulness that operated in this situation. Let every demonic assignment against her marriage be broken in Jesus’ name. We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against her in judgment, she shall condemn (Isaiah 54:17).
Father, we ask that You prepare her for marriage in every way. Teach her to wait on You, to trust in Your timing, and to find her ultimate satisfaction in Christ alone. If there are areas of her life that need surrender—impatience, fear, or past sins—bring conviction and grace to repentance. Make her a woman after Your own heart, rooted in Your Word and overflowing with Your love.
We pray for her future husband, wherever he may be. Draw him to Yourself, Lord, and mold him into a man who will love her as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Let him be a man of integrity, faith, and humility, fully submitted to You. Prepare them both for a marriage that glorifies You, built on the foundation of Your Word.
Father, we ask that You remove every obstacle to this godly union. If there are generational curses, soul ties from past relationships, or demonic strongholds, we command them to be broken now in Jesus’ name. Let Your will be done in her life, Lord, and let her testimony be one of Your faithfulness.
We thank You, Father, for hearing our prayers. We trust that You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28). Let her wait be a season of deep intimacy with You, where she learns to hear Your voice and walk in Your steps. And when the time is right, let her marriage be a beacon of Your love and grace to a watching world.
In the precious and mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Stand firm in faith, sister. The Lord has not forgotten you. He is preparing you and your future spouse for a marriage that will bring Him glory. In the meantime, seek Him with all your heart, serve Him faithfully, and trust that He who began a good work in you will complete it (Philippians 1:6). Do not grow weary in waiting, for *"hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when longing is fulfilled, it is a tree of life"* (Proverbs 13:12). Your longing will be fulfilled in His perfect time.