Hi Julia,
I care and many on this site care what happens to you. Above all, God absolutely cares for and about you.
For God so loved the world that He GAVE His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it. John 3:16,17
Masturbation is not about the good feelings it gives you but it actually is a coping mechanism for you. It helps you cope with the things in your life. You don't like doing it but it helps you calm down. You do it alot because you feel overwhelmed.
Here is what God showed me about His love for us:
In the beginning, God, who is love, created us in His image and likeness (which is love). We fellowshipped with Him in that powerful fellowship. He calling to us in the cool of the day, and singing over us with songs and dancing, rejoicing over us. We in turn, sang His Banner over me is love songs, with thanksgiving, praise, worship and adoration. Love sharing with love, till His glory filled the earth.
Then something happened. Sin came in. Sin broke that fellowship with God and we no longer shared the same thoughts, ideas, behaviors, desire. Sin destroyed our ability to love as we once loved. Now love became selfish. Our wants, our needs, our desires, along with frustrations, anger, depression, discouragement and the rest of those other negative emotions. We are needing someone to love unconditionally, but now that other person expects us to meet their needs and we expect them to meet our needs, and it can't happen. We've become needy people.
Then God sets His plan in motion to redeem His creation back to what we were meant to be. He so loved us that He gave His Only Begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save it. John 3:16,17.
Jesus our Redeemer. He buys us back to God through the shedding of His blood.
We are like the Prodigal Son. A man has two sons. One is obedient, the other wants to explore the world, so he demands from his father his inheritance. Now an inheritance is not given until the parent is dead, but the Father split the inheritance and gave his son his share. The son goes into the world, his money buys friends, but when money ran out, those friends scattered. No more money, no sense hanging around someone who is now begging for work, food and a place to sleep. Soon, this son begins to sell his fancy clothes, and not much longer, he ends up cleaning and sleeping with pigs, not only that, eating the food that the pigs were eating. One day, the son comes to his senses. Why am I sleeping with pigs and eating their food when I can go home and work for my dad like one of his servants? So he starts his journey home, wondering how he will be able to get his dad to take him back.
One day dad is looking down the road (scripture says that he saw his son afar off...afar is a long way off). and sees a figure afar off. The walk looked familiar and the dad knew it was his son. He takes off running, yelling, waving his arms, telling his servants, quick get that finest robe, oh and don't forget that ring I bought. Dad is running towards his son and reaches him. Son is trying to avoid his dad's embrace because he is stinking like a pig, filthy. But dad doesn't care and throws his arms around him, "my son! my son! You were lost, but now you are found!" He puts the finest robe on the son, takes the ring and places on his finger and calls for a celebration. Kill the fatted calf, we're going to celebrate!
The older son, who stayed and worked the land became angry and began to scream at his dad, "what do you mean welcoming this scoundrel back!! Who is he to you!! Took and blew his inheritance, ending up sleeping and stinking like a pig that he is! I, I worked hard day and night and did you ever buy me a fine robe, or a ring such as this one?!!! Oh and you kill the fatted calf to throw him a party??!!!! Are you insane??!!
The father looks at his son and says, you could have had a celebration with your friends anytime you wanted. You could have asked me for a fine robe, and I would have gladly given you a fine ring also. But your brother, who was lost has come home. Let us rejoice together that he has come back into his senses! (this is my version of the story).
You, in a sense are like a prodigal daughter. We are all born into that original sin and because we (you) are, we (you) are also subject to the prince of this world (the devil) who holds sway over the lives of many people who do horrible things to other people, to children and to society. People not in their right mind. People with no values, no morals blinded from the truth of the word.
Jesus comes and takes upon Him all that sin (every sin imaginable). Even the sin of the person who sexually abused you, your habit of masterbation, and all those bad things you have done and will do (this includes future sins) have been laid upon Him. Every sickness and disease, every curse of the law, laid upon Him. Beatened unrecognizable as a man, scourged, his beard plucked, placed on a cross, hands nailed, feet nailed to the cross, a crown of thorn roughly smashed on his head, and yet, in mercy and compassion, he cries to His Father, God, "Father, forgive them! They know not what they do!" Because the Sabbath was about to start, they pierce his side to hurry up his death.
Because God loves you, He gave His Son to die in your place. For the sins of the whole world. Mine, yours and everyone else on this site so we could be restored to that relationship God ordained us to live from the beginning.
You Worthless? NEVER! His blood poured out makes Him mighty to save, mighty to heal! Redemption is ours because of what Jesus did. Restored fellowship with God, we becoming love again because His love is shed abroad in the heart of them who call on Jesus as Lord. Blessed with every spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ. Given exceeding great and precious promises.
No, beloved, God does not make junk. He does not make mistakes and He does not toss out nor throw away. He restores and redeems. What sin brought about, Jesus brings newness. Born again. A new species of being. A new creation. Who we used to be no longer exists. Where we were just soul and body, now we are spirit with a soul, living in a body. Our spirit born again, now our soul needs to be saved. It needs to know the good news. What is the amazing part is that now God, by His Spirit comes and lives in us. God in us. Yet, it’s not us, but Christ who lives in us. A beautiful partnership/relationship with the God who created us. Who loves us. Anyone, anyone can share in this. YOU, are here because God has brought you here. There are people here who will be ministering to you. They will give you words of life that you will receive as truth. The first one. God loves YOU. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. His thoughts towards you are for good and not for evil. He love for you goes beyond your wildest imagination, it is perfect, pure, lovely. It is incredible. O taste and see that the Lord is good! The word is bread to us. It is life. It is breath. It is life giving. It’s beautiful and wonderful. It’s yours if you receive it and comes from Jesus, who is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
Father, Thank you for all that you have given us. Blessings, favor, promises and provisions for all our need. Thank you for Julia You brought her here by wooing, calling, drawing...and you are NOT offended by her words because you know everything there is to know about her. Nothing hidden from your sight. What she sees as ugly and worthless, you see an amazing art work, a diamond in the rough, to be shaped and molded by Your comforting Holy Spirit. Reveal, Father, your great love for her..Let Your words hit their mark on this daughter who is seeking you. Release favor for her. Bring spirit led, Jesus loving believers across her path to minister to her the words of life and speak peace be still to her weary soul. In Jesus name. Amen.
