I meant to say that I feel this way due to my own bad choices. I don't feel I deserve prayers because I should know better but I need to get it together and be strong for my husband. It hurts so so so much that we can't have children and I know it is my fault. My husband does not deserve this or the way I punish him for things that were never his fault. I'm so very sorry I ruined his life and I am so sorry I can't get it together. Please help me and if you can find it in your heart, please forgive me. I'm angry, selfish, entitled, and at times, really mean. Every day I say I will work on it, and every day I fail. I fail every single day and try to justify it. I am lost and I need help that I do not deserve. Please, don't give up on me. Please show me the way. In Jesus name I pray.